Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Say What?

With special "thanks" to this blog's European Correspondant, Benny Brown, here are some memorable quotes for us to savor during this election season - or at any time...

(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: 'I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,'
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest
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'Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.'
--Mariah Carey
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'Smoking kills.. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,'
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign .
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'I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,'
--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward .
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'Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,'
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC
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'That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,'
--A congressional candidate in Texas
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'Half this game is ninety percent mental.'
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
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'It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.'
--Al Gore, Vice President
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'I love California . I practically grew up in Phoenix .'
-- Dan Quayle
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'We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need ?'
--Lee Iacocca
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'The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.'
--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.
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'We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people.'
-- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
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'Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances.'
-- Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina
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'Traditionally, most of Australia 's imports come from overseas.'
--Keppel Enderbery
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'If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record.'
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
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Mr. BrownThanks, Benny

Monday, September 29, 2008

Iceberg - Dead Ahead!


Again we see that there is no intelligent life on Capitol Hill. I can't believe that the House of Representatives did not approve the bailout program. And they were getting so good at spending our money! Must be the upcoming election. I hope they all get voted out!

Friday, September 26, 2008

Friday Foto - Veronica Zemanova

Veronica Zemanova

I was thinking about who should be featured for this spot. I thought, someone halfway famous who looks like Veronica Zemanova. Well, nobody came to mind, so, here's Veronica Zemanova. She began as a photographer. She quickly discovered that she could make more money being photographed.

Have a nice weekend!

Thursday, September 25, 2008

NFL Picks - Week 4


Last week was a dismal 8 & 8 for the General. I have abandoned my complex strategy and am going with my instincts.
Here's how I see Week Four:

SAN FRANCISCO at new orleans
ATLANTA at carolina
houston at JACKSONVILLE
cleveland at CINCINNATI
ARIZONA at ny jets
minnesota at TENNESSEE
green bay at TAMPA BAY
DENVER at kansas city

SAN Diego at oakland
BUFFALO at st. louis
washington at DALLAS

PHILADELPHIA at chicago

baltimore at PITTSBURGH

Newest Yankee Stadium!

Breaking News! Click, below, to check it our!

Yankees Building New Vacation Stadium In The Hamptons

McCain Shuns Letterman


It seems odd that a politician who is running neck and neck in the polls would bow out of a network TV appearance - for any reason! That's what John McCain did on Wednesday. He was to visit David Letterman. He said he was halting his campaign activities to deal with the nation's financial crisis. On the air Wednesday night, Letterman assailed McCain's rationale and, with prickly humor, questioned whether the nominee — now trailing in some polls — was in trouble. "This doesn't smell right," Letterman said. "This is not the way a tested hero behaves. Somebody's putting something in his Metamucil."

I hate when somebody screws with my metamucil.

Was Letterman upset with the last minute cancellation? You tell me - He replaced McCain with MSNBC's Keith Olbermann

Smart Cars

This is such an exciting time to be alive!
I filled my car up with gas, this morning.
With the money I spent I could have taken Mrs. General Tom to a nice restaurant, twice!
Well, being that I am in the car business, I am privy to some of the prototypes that are being developed. What do you think?






Thanks, Benny!

Monday, September 22, 2008

Why Is This Happening?


Can anyone tell me why Yankee Stadium is being replaced. I watched the final game at the stadium, last night. John Miller & Joe Morgan interviewed the living Yankee Hall Of Famers, but the question of why was never addressed. Joe Morgan mentioned that when he hit his first home run at Yankee Stadium he was thinking that he was rounding the same bases that Ruth, Gehrig and the others did. Why destroy this unique venue? You want a higher tech scoreboard? Hell, we could've put one in. You want more luxury boxes? Luxury boxes are for sissies! But I digress. I just want to know why?

I discovered some very old pictures of Yankee Stadium, circa 1923. Click for the full size.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Friday Foto - Amy Weber

Amy Weber

Yes, it's time for the Friday Photo. From Mapleton, Illinois, it's actress, model, producer Amy Weber. She's a WWE survivor and has been in many TV shows. She also appeared in country musician Toby Keith's video for his song "Whiskey Girl" as the Whiskey Girl. I'd say that she looks more like the Long Island Iced Tea type, but what do I know?

Click on the picture, it get's bigger.

Have a nice weekend.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

NFL Picks - Week 3


If you are keeping score, at home, last week I was 9 & 6 for a season total of 19 & 12. Not exceptional, but it's not yet time to resort to flipping a coin. Usually that happens near Week 10.
Here are the picks for Week 3:

kansas city at ATLANTA
oakland at BUFFALO
tampa bay at CHICAGO
CAROLINA at minnesota
miami at NEW ENGLAND
cincinnati at NEW YORK GIANTS
houston at TENNESSEE
ARIZONA at washington

new orleans at DENVER
detroit atSAN FRANCISCO
saint louis at SEATTLE
cleveland at BALTIMORE
jacksonville at INDIANAPOLIS
PITTSBURGH at philadelphia

dallas at GREEN BAY

NEW YORK JETS at san diego.

There you have it. Results and more picks will be posted next Thursday.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Baseball Hall Of Fame


It's funny listening to people argue about who should or shouldn't be inducted into the Baseball Hall Of Fame. Of course fans will lean one way or another when a specific name is mentioned. Consider the following group: Joe Torre, Gil Hodges, Maury Wills, Dick Allen, Jim Kaat, Tony Oliva, Al Oliver, Vada Pinson, Ron Santo and Luis Tiant. I am happy to say that I enjoyed watching all of these men play the game. If they were on your side you were relieved! If they were facing your team, you were scared. Yes scared - they could do some damage!
The Hall Of Fame Veterans Committee consisting of 64 living Hall Of Famers must vote from among these ten. Any candidate who receives 75 percent of the vote will earn election and be enshrined on July 26, 2009.
I say that they are all worthy. It's a shame that most of them will have to wait.

Sarah Palin Baby Name Generator

Sarah Palin has picked out an All-American set of names for her children.
There's Track, Trig, Bristol, Willow, and Piper.

Ever wonder, What your name would be if Sarah Palin were your mother? Well now you can find out!

Click here for the very popular Sarah Palin Baby Name Generator


My name would be Bow NATO Palin

Monday, September 15, 2008

Stars Not Shining For Palin


Lindsay Lohan doesn't like Sarah Palin. Neither does Matt Damon, Oprah, Pink nor Pam Anderson. Pam Anderson said that Palin "Can suck it." Nice vocabulary. Uh, Pam, apparently, you can too, I saw the video!
Back to Miss Lindsay. She has a My Space Page and she wrote: "I really cannot bite my tongue anymore when it comes to Sarah Palin. Is it a sin to be gay? Should it be a sin to be straight? Or to use birth control? Or to have sex before marriage? Or even to have a child out of wedlock?"
You are absolutely right, Lindsay, we should all strive to do these things, and get drunk as often as possible and smoke crack like there's no tomorrow! We unconnected people appreciate your insight. How can we ever thank you?

If these famous people are serious about their guy Obama changing his address to 1600 Pennsylvania Ave., they may want to shut up! The undecided voters in key states like Ohio, Florida, Missouri and others may not be hip enough to dig your buzz.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Friday Foto - Marisa Miller

Marisa Miller

This week's Friday Foto takes us to the beach. Meet Sports Illustrated's Swim Suit Edition Cover Girl, Marisa Miller. She was chosen #1 by Maxim Magazine and she does some fine work for Victoria's Secret. Marisa is a California Girl, you know, volleyball, surfing....and she just turned 30, in August. She's been known to do charitable work for the American Cancer Sociery. She's just another reason why we love the beach!

Have a nice weekend!

Hurricane Ike


As I am writing this, Hurricane Ike is approaching the Texas Gulf Shore. In Indiana, far from the hurricane, we are expecting up to five inches of rain in the next three days!
What has always puzzled me is that the TV stations always seem to assign reporters to report directly from the beaches of the hardest hit areas. All of this is after local officials tell the public to evacuate! In Galveston, they're telling people to evacuate or face certain death! Meanwhile, The Weather Channel's Stephanie Abrams is doing her thing - on the beach in Galveston. I'm asking myself, "Is somebody at TWC mad at her, or what?" The picture on the right is a file photo from a previous storm.
I just had a thought. Could you imagine CBS' 60 Minutes' Andy Rooney doing a live report from Galveston Beach during the storm? Yeah, with Mike Wallace interviewing a guy who's selling flashlight batteries for $50 apiece.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

September 11, 2001


Please - don't ever forget this!

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

NFL Picks - Week 2


For those who care, last week I picked 10 winners out of 16 games. This week I should do better since I have devised a system based on last week's performances. I've also allowed for injuries and arrests among key players. I feel pretty good about these picks:

CHICAGO at carolina
BUFFALO at jacksonville
oakland at KANSAS CITY
INDIANAPOLIS at minnesota
NEW ORLEANS at washington
NEW YORK GIANTS at st. louis
GREEN BAY at detroit
TENNESSEE at cincinnati

san francisco at SEATTLE
ATLANTA at tampa bay
miami at ARIZONA
new england at NEW YORK JETS
san diego at DENVER
BALTIMORE at houston

Pittsburgh at cleveland

philadelphia at DALLAS

Sarah Palin's A Doll!


I don't think that you can argue when I say that she's different. Some find her attractive. Me? Let's just say she won't be in any of my Friday Foto posts.
I can say that she's a doll! Herobuilders.com from Oxford, Connecticut has come out with three different Sarah Palin Dolls. There's the Executive model for $27.95. The School Girl version and the Action version (shown) each cost $2 more.
If you say that this is unfair, these people also offer an Obama doll and Pez dispenser.
Seriously, there is good news and some sad news about this. The good news is that the Hero Builders people are probably going to make a lot of money on this.
The sad news is that a lot of people are going to be dumb enough to pay good money for this crap.

Young: Fans Getting Old


Vince Young is a very talented NFL quarterback. His team, the Tennessee Titans won their first game of the season by a 17-10 margin over Jacksonville. So why is Vince Young so sad? He's sad because he's been the target of boos and ridicule from the fans.
Fans can be cruel. They ultimately pay your salary, but they can also be jerks. Mind you, I'm not siding with Young. When you make $13,143,000 a year, as he did in 2007, criticism comes with the territory. You don't have to listen to it! Unless it comes from your bosses...they're the ones who decided that you're worth 13-mill-a-season.
My advice: Vince, be a man. The NFL is making you very wealthy - enjoy the ride!

If the NFL is too demanding, perhaps you can go into your dad's line of work.

Minnie - A Mommy

Minnie Driver

Minnie Driver is a mommy. Yeah, she delivered Henry Story Driver, earlier this week. Mother & baby are doing fine. Daddy? Don't be silly - this is Hollywood - we don't need to talk about no damn daddy! Word is that he is English and that he'll be involved in the child's upbringing. (I feel so much better, now!)

Minnie, an academy award nominee, is 38 and is on a show on cable TV that nobody watches. She's also working on a music career.

That noise that you hear in the background...do you hear it? It's Ms. Driver's biological clock ticking.

Classy...very classy.

Tiger: Sidelined But Not Idle

Elin Woods

This item is more than a week old, but still, I think it's worth mentioning. Tiger Woods, perhaps the greatest golfer to ever hit a little ball into a little hole, is expecting child #2 with his wife, Elin. On the right is a picture of Elin. Tiger's a good looking guy, but I thought I'd beautify the blog by posting a pic of Elin. In the end, she's much better to look at.
Back to the family. Tiger's been sitting out the PGA season with an injury. This gives him more "family time" ergo (that's right, ergo) the impending arrival of a blessed event. They already have a daughter, Sam. Unlike many celebrity couples, the Woods were married in plenty of time for Sam's arrival. Also unlike many celebrity couples, the Woods have a chosen normal name for their little girl.
I was thinking that it'd be cool for him to pick a name like Lion or Giraffe or Rhino...but that's just me.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

NFL & Stuff

I told you that I wasn't very good at picking winners in the NFL. I went 10 & 6 for week one including a correct guess on the Bears upset over the Colts.

What else is new? Michael Jackson turns 50 and is dating Pamela Anderson. You can file this under desperate career decisions/severe search for attention. A pair of his underwear is being auctioned on E-Bay. (Did I say desperate?)

McCain polls 5% better than Obama. I think this margin will swing back and forth. Americans love a tight "horse race." It keeps them "tuned in." The real poll is on November 4.

O.J. is back! The jury is being selected for his part in an armed robbery.

Stay tuned!

Friday, September 5, 2008

Friday Foto - Hitomi Tanaka

Hitomi Tanaka

Yes, it's the Friday Foto.
This week we look to the far east and discover the beauty of Hitomi Tanaka, a Japanese model. If you click on the picture, you may do a better job of discovering all that Hitomi has received from her creator. You may also see her on You Tube.

Have a nice weekend!

Olympics On NBC


Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators at
the Summer Olympics that they would like to take back:

1. Weightlifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria . I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."

2. Dressage commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother."

3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."

4. Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries,and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious."

5. Softball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."

6. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."

7. At the rowing medal ceremony: "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew."

8. Soccer commentator: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."

9. Tennis commentator: "One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh my God, what have I just said?"

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Humor In Uniform

Reader's Digest has their regular feature "Humor In Uniform." Well, in the spirit of honoring the brave men who are doing a difficult and dangerous job, we offer you the following.....




Thanks, Benny

NFL Picks - Week 1


This is not a sports blog by any means. I mention sports occasionally as they relate to the total scheme of things.
For many years I've been predicting the results of the weekly NFL games. I thought I'd share them with you. (How lucky you are!) I should point out that I'm not very good at this, but neither are the big shot experts at ESPN.

washington at NY GIANTS

detroit at ATLANTA
CINCINNATI at baltimore
SEATTLE at buffalo
NEW YORK JETS at miami
kansas city at NEW ENGLAND
TAMPA BAY at new orleans
saint louis at PHILADELPHIA
houston at PITTSBURGH
jacksonville at TENNESSEE

DALLAS at cleveland
carolina at SAN DIEGO
ARIZONA at san francisco

CHICAGO at indianapolis

MINNESOTA at green bay
denver at OAKLAND

Remember, I'm not very good at this. Proof will come between now and early Tuesday moring.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Don LaFontaine


For years he was the best! I don't think there will ever be anyone better! Don LaFontaine was a joy to listen to.
For a number of years, I made a living with my voice - commercials, radio and a pinch of TV. When it comes to voice quality, inflection, timbre, etc., Don LaFontaine was the Babe Ruth of voices. Whether you know it or not, you know the man's voice when you hear it. "You Tube" has a number of features and tributes to LaFontaine. Mr. LaFontaine died this week. He was 68. He will be missed.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Bristol Palin


If you're a democrat, it's a sitcom. If you're a republican, it's a soap opera. If you're General Tom, it just another wealthy dysfunctional family. Mommy gets elected governor and is chosen to run as VP on a doomed ticket, daddy's a local businessman and oldest daughter get's pregnant at 17. How do you fix this? Oh, she's going to marry the baby's father!
I don't preach on this blog. But, I'm thinking back to the time when I dated 17 year old girls. The ones I dated, uh, how shall I put this, well they kept their knees together. It was how they were brought up. It was a reflection on their character and on their parent's loving upbringing. This did not make me feel frustrated. You see, there was baseball, track and other interests to use up my youthful energy. Who's the boyfriend? He's Levi Johnston, 18 and a real treat. Here's a quote form his MYSPACE page, “I’m a f*ckin’ redneck who likes to snowboard and ride dirt bikes. But I live to play hockey. I like to go camping and hang out with the boys, do some fishing, shoot some sh*t and just f*ckin’ chillin’ I guess. Ya f*ck with me I’ll kick ass.” Status: “In a relationship.” Children: “I don’t want kids.”

This post is not meant to make a big deal out of Bristol Palin's pregnancy. Actually, it could help her mother's campaign! Sure - it proves that republicans have sex, too!