Sunday, January 31, 2010

Atheists Say No To Mother Teresa Postage Stamp


August 2010 marks the 100th anniversary of the birth of Mother Teresa. The U.S. Postal service wants to honor her life's work with a postage stamp to be issued in August. An atheist group is saying, "Oh my God!"

This is a portion of a surprisingly well written press release from the Post Office:

"Noted for her compassion toward the poor and suffering, Mother Teresa, a diminutive Roman Catholic nun and honorary U.S. citizen, served the sick and destitute of India and the world for nearly 50 years. Her humility and compassion, as well as her respect for the innate worth and dignity of humankind, inspired people of all ages and backgrounds to work on behalf of the world’s poorest populations."

I'm sure that as soon as the Postal Service finds a devout atheist with similar accomplishments, they will honor him/her with a stamp!

Friday, January 29, 2010

Man/Chicken Video On NYC Subway

Nothing that happens in New York City should shock us. Or, maybe you could say that you can see anything in NYC.

Here's a video of an unidentified man and a live chicken...



The local New Yorkers' lack of reaction tells us that what you are seeing is not very unusual for the New York City Transit System.

Friday Foto - Jamie Eason

Jamie Eason

This week's Friday Foto features an interesting person, Jamie Eason.

Jamie is a former NFL Cheerleader - Houston Texans. She is a breast cancer survivor and a successful fitness model.

She is an inspiration on several levels.

Click the picture to get the full effect and have a nice weekend!

Smart? Car


The picture that you see, here is a Smart Car sandwiched between two trucks. This is a real picture taken near New Orleans. I do not know of what happened to the occupant(s).

If you click the picture, you will get a better idea of what some people think is a Smart car.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Prez Sez Pork Beats Viagra


This is from the General's "Whatever Floats Your Boat" file.

Argentina's president, Cristina Fernandez, recommended pork as an alternative to Viagra Wednesday, saying she spent a satisfying weekend with her husband after eating barbecued pork.

She made the remarks during a televised speech in front of pig farming industry leaders in Argentina.

"I've just been told something I didn't know; that eating pork improves your sex life ... I'd say it's a lot nicer to eat a bit of grilled pork than take Viagra."

Argentines are the world's biggest per capita consumers of beef, but the government has sought to promote pork as an alternative in recent years due to rising steak prices and as a way to diversify the meat industry.

I'm trying to get rid of an image of Bill Clinton and Fernandez at a pork barbecue at the Playboy Mansion...

iPad-What's In A Name?


Yesterday, Steve Jobs unveiled his latest development, the "iPad." They were talking about it this morning on the WPIX Morning News. The name of the product came up.....saying that it sounds a bit like a, uh... feminine hygiene product. This was followed by giggles and "Oh, I can't get it out of my mind." "Yes, it has 'wings'." (Can you go swimming with it?)

GT's take on this: It's just another toy that will keep kids from making payments on their student loans.

An internal camera wudda been nice, too!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

AWOLer Steals Humvee, Runs Outta Gas


First, I have no respect for soldiers who go AWOL. There's no reason for it, and there's no way that you can get away with it!

Well, Army Private Sean Johnson went AWOL from Ft. Stewart, Georgia, last week. He was arrested on Monday after the Army Humvee that he allegedly stole, ran out of gas.

We're dealing with a bright puppy, here! How did he ever make it to the rank of Private?

Well, Sean is in the Volusia County (FL) Jail, facing Grand Theft Auto charges. Also, the Army may want to talk with him about this AWOL thing.

This reminds me of a guy I knew during AIT at Ft Dix, NJ in the '70s. Before joining the Army he used to like to get drunk and steal police cars.
The judge gave him a choice - it was either the Army or Jail.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Ellen's Birthday!


Today is Ellen Degeneres' birthday! She's celebrating with 52 candles on her cake. (I mentioned this today on my daily telephone weather forecast - which you can reach at (812) 234-6600....) <--Shameless plug.

I like Ellen! I think she's very funny! Did you know that she's from Louisiana? This means that she will probably be rooting for the Saints in the Super Bowl.
Still, I'd like to think of her as a "Closet Colts Fan!"

Is That A Lizzard In Your Pants?


Sometimes I think that the whole world is going looney! 58 year old Hans Kurt Kubus will be spending his next 14 weeks in a New Zealand jail and will be paying a $3,450 fine.

You see, our boy Hans was caught in December at the Christchurch International Airport with 44 Geckos and skinks hidden in his underwear. Following his sentence he will be deported to Germany.

He admitted trading in exploited species without a permit and hunting absolutely protected wildlife without authority, pleading guilty to two charges under the Wildlife Act and five under the Trade in Endangered Species Act.

Actually, Hans got off easy. He could have been hit with a $500,000 fine and 6 months in the slammer.

The Associated Press says that a single Gecko could fetch as much as $2,800 on the European Market!

I'm wondering if my wife would let me breed Geckos in the basement?

Monday, January 25, 2010

Adam Cartwright Passes


Actor Pernell Roberts died today, he was 81. Most of us would remember him for his portrayal of Adam Cartwright on Bonanza. The show ran from 1959 until 1973. Adam was the wise and quiet one of the three Cartwright boys. He was the last surviving cast member of the show. He left the show in 1965, at the height of its popularity. He resurfaced in 1979 as "Trapper John, M.D." and starred on that show for 7 seasons.
I remember him as being quiet and cool on Bonanza. But Adam was never quite as smart as his dad, Ben.
He was a supporter of the U.S, Civil Rights movement, marching with Dr. Martin Luther King in 1965, in support of voter registration.
Good actor, sad to see him pass. He died at home in Malibu of pancreatic cancer. He is survived by his wife, Eleanor Criswell

Wine


As Ben Franklin said, "In wine there is wisdom,
in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria."

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli) - bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop..

However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor)because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

Remember:
Water = Poop,
Wine = Health
Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid,
than to drink water and be full of shit.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Colts Defeat Jets - Win AFC

View this gallery at The Indianapolis Star: AFC Championship: Colts vs. Jets game action

Tiger's Yachts

Tiger Woods current yacht is impressive...



But, word is, he's thinking of an upgrade.....



However. due to recent developments, this is probably more like it.....



Thanks, Benny!

Brangelina Split


Assuming that you give a rat's rear end about celebrity couples, there's news out that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are splitting up. Published reports indicate that the pair have been talking with divorce lawyers since at least December. Let's see...divorce lawyers...wait a minute...They're Not Married! Still, they want to split their fortune evenly. Mama gets the kids, daddy gets to visit. They're both young & cute and uber-rich...life goes on in Hollywood.
They were together for roughly five years.
From their track record, two things are evident (to me.) First, broth Brad and Angelina are difficult to live with. Second, obscene amounts of money, earned within a short amount of time, hurts relationships rather than helps them.
Like I said, this is all assuming that you give a rat's rear end about the rich and famous. If you don't, that's OK. I'll have another post for you very soon!

Saturday, January 23, 2010

NFL Picks - Conference Championships


Here are my picks for the Conference Championship games for Sunday, 1/24/10. First, I should start by saying that these games could easily go either way. The teams that have made it to this point are very good at capitalizing on their opponent's mistakes and are very capable of making something out of nothing.
Here goes:

jets at INDIANAPOLIS

minnesota at NEW ORLEANS

Friday, January 22, 2010

Conan's Tonight Farewell, Tonight


He's not exactly my "cup of tea." A little bit of Conan O'Brien goes a long way for me. However, I will be taping tonight's show and portions of it will be all over You Tube in the morning.
The thing is, well I've seen this happen on a much smaller level, the thing is...it's not right! It's not right, because the future of the Tonight Show is being derailed by the past. It's not right because Conan was given a job to do and promises have been broken. It's not right to say that $45 million will justify these things that are not right. It's not right that Jay Leno, after failing in prime time, should be awarded with the "Tonight Show." This is a bonehead move on a par with Coca Cola's New Coke introduction. Dumb Dumb Dumb.

Friday Foto - Lindsey Strutt


Friday sure got here quickly! I've been very busy, but not too busy to miss this picture of Lindsey Ann Strutt! The Strutter! She's a 22 year old English model who took some time out recently to visit British troops in Iraq. Click the picture for the full effect and have a nice weekend!




Bonus Booze 4 Busty Babes


There's a bar in Singapore that is offering an interesting promotion. During the limited time promotionm, they are offering free drinks for women who are uh, well..."well endowed." The "Overeasy" nightclub calls this their "Fill My Cups" event to promote events hosted by Australian DJ DCUP.
The promotion allows A-cup patrons one free drink, B-cups two, C-cups three, and D-cups can claim a free bottle of vodka.
To ascertain bra size the promotion will allow for one male and one female judge to visually assess bra cup size, "They are not boob experts, and neither are they from a bra company. They are our personal friends who will simply guess-timate as to the women's bra cup sizes," said (I'm not kidding) Ms Ho, a spokesperson at Overeasy. "We don't condone touch tests."
Not everyone is happy with this idea. We should remember that if it is successful, it will attracted both genders...for different reasons.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Scott Brown's Truck

Massachusetts Senator-elect Scott Brown and his now-famous pickup truck.



The truck is a 2005 GMC Canyon Crew Cab. This truck is a cousin to the Chevrolet Colorado. Both are made by General Motors, owned by the American people....and the UAW. During the last few days of the campaign, the fact that Brown drives a pick up truck was mentioned...in a negative way. This was a political boo boo. You see, a lot of voting Americans drive pick up trucks. I think we discovered this on Tuesday.

Brown's truck just turned past 200,000 miles! It'll be interesting to see what he trades it for, now that he is getting a pay raise. Maybe a Chevy Avalanche?

All of this, of course, is nonsense and a waste of cyber space. Shouldn't we be looking at the man's experience, viewpoints, qualifications, background and track record, you know, boring stuff like that...

Naw, let's just make fun of his truck.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Pants On The Ground

I can't explain the popularity of General Larry Platt's appearance on American Idol and his contribution to our world culture. Here's the actual video followed by the Lyrics...



*All Rights to American Idol 2010 and Fox*
The infamous Pants on the Ground guy General Larry Platt. Catchy song!
LYRICS:
Pants on the ground
Pants on the ground
Lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground
Gold in your mouth
Hat turned sideways, pants hit the ground
Call yourself a cool cat looking like a fool
Walking down town (2nd time say Talkin')
With your pants on the ground!

No Poe Toaster This Year


I doubt that Brian Williams will have this story on tonight's NBC Nightly News! Thank God for General Tom's Blog!! Today would have been the 201st birthday for Edgar Allan Poe. Each year, on this day, between midnight and dawn, a mysterious person delivers half a bottle of cognac and three roses to the author's grave site. This has happened regularly since 1949. This tradition has gathered a modest following among locals in Baltimore. This year it didn't happen! This mysterious tribute seems to be fitting, at least to me, when you think of Poe being able to "make this stuff up" so well! The man is truly the immortal master of horror!

Thinking a little too far into this, I see that the Poe Toasting Tradition began on the birthday following the 100th anniversary of his death. It seems to have ended with the 200th anniversary of his birth. Coincidence? Probably not.

It's kind of sad, in a way, that this tradition should end. Maybe the Baltimore tourism office should see to it that somebody revives the tradition, next year. I know that the Baltimore tourism office (if there is such a thing) is probably overworked....but aren't we all?


Saturday, January 16, 2010

Get A Piece Of Giants' Stadium!


Fans of the Jets and Giants can keep a piece of history. Giants Stadium is being sold off bit-by-bit. A pair of seats goes for about 500 bucks. A piece of turf will set you back 30. The sale was announced yesterday and is being run by Steiner Sports. That's the same company that handles memorabilia from the old Yankee Stadium. Next season, the new Giants Jets Stadium opens. The current, 34-year-old stadium, will be torn down.

Benny Brown
European Editor, GTB

Things You Can Do With A Buck

Times tough? Well, it's the weekend and chances are that you have a dollar or two in your pocket. The following was sent to us by our Chief European Correspondent, Benny Brown:


This is the work of Won Park. You can see many of his other creations by clicking here!
If I knew how to do this, I'd run across the street to the bank, pick up a pack of 50 singles and sell them for $5 each. Yeah...

Friday, January 15, 2010

NFL Picks - Divisional Playoffs


Last week I was 2 and 2, picking the Saturday games and missing on the Sunday games. All four of these games could go either way. For this reason, we'll probably be seeing better football, this weekend, than we will as the playoffs continue, including "The Big Game."

Here are the picks:

BALTIMORE at indianapolis
JETS at san diego

dallas at MINNESOTA
arizona at NEW ORLEANS

Friday Foto - Jessica Canizales


This week's Friday Foto comes highly recommended!
So, OK, Chris, here's your girl!
Click on the picture to get the full effect, and have a good weekend!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Real Web Sites...Really!


All of these are legitimate companies that didn't spend quite enough time considering how their online names might appear ... and be misread. These are not made up. Check them out yourself!

1. Who Represents is where you can find the name of the agent that represents any celebrity. Their Web site is www.whorepresents.com

2 . Experts Exchange is a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at www.expertsexchange.com

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at www.penisland.net

4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at www.therapistfinder.com

5. There's the Italian Power Generator company, www.powergenitalia.com

6. And don't forget the Mole Station Native Nursery in New South Wales ,
www.molestationnursery.com

7. If you're looking for IP computer software, there's always
www.ipanywhere.com

8. And the designers at Speed of Art await you at their wacky Web site,
www.speedofart.com

Thanks, Benny!