Trump Going Hollywood

First the Dodgers, then the "Tonight Show," now, "The Apprentice." NBC has picked up the Apprentice for its 6th season. This time, the kiddie corps of apprentice hopefuls will get canned in southern California. The Donald remains the star of the show. The excuse for the relocation is for Trump to be closer to some of his west coast ventures, including the Trump National Golf Club Los Angeles in Rancho Palos Verdes. My opinion? Thanks for asking! Keep it in NYC. It is the business center of the country. California in a nice place for many things but it's not known as being a testing ground for aspiring business people. That's just my thought, dude.

The Rodfather

Rod Stewart is 60 years old. His girlfriend is 34. Guess what? They had a baby, Sunday, 11/27. Her first, his sixth. Mother & baby are doing well.
This is becoming a very hip trend. Trump's doing it, of course, he got married, first. I wonder of Andy Rooney is dating?

Blood From A Rock?

At a Catholic Church in Sacramento, California there's a statue of the Virgin Mary which, believers say, is weeping. That's right, crying a drop of blood.
Parishioners first noticed the tear falling from the eye last Wednesday, November 23rd. By Sunday morning, it had turned dark red. A sign from God? Go to any internet search engine and look for "weeping statue." You'll be flooded with sites. Real or not, if it's making some of us better people, it's OK. When you think of all the crap that's going on in the world, this is harmless. To some, it's an inspiration. Oh, and the Archdiocese of Sacramento has been asked to investigate.

Marysol Graces US

In a November issue of US Magazine, Marysol Castro of Good Morning America appears along side a photo of Eva Longoria of Desperate Housewives. They are each wearing a similar dress. The mag polls NYers on who looks better. This doesn't seem fair to me, but if you click on the photo you will see that Marysol did OK. If they compared "maintenance," Eva would have won 99 to 1.

Nick & Jessica

Nick & Jessica are splitting up. Except for it being official, now, this is the non-story of the month. Can any of us be surprised? This has nothing to do with IQ level. It has everything to do with media pressure, fan pressure and the everyday pressure that husbands and wives go through. Oh, about Jessica saying that she thought "Chicken Of The Sea" was a poultry product, that's really funny. It reminds me of something Yogi Berra would say. But Jessica looks better.

A Picture Is Worth A Thousand........Thousand Dollars

Nice picture, eh? What in the world is this world coming to? When a pop tart can sell pictures of her kid to a magazine for a cool million dollars...and the magazine can still make money??? Sometimes I think we are all bozos.
If a Nobel Prize winner had a baby, what would the value be of that kid's layout?

Debbie Does...NO TIME!

I don't understand this. Maybe you can help. Debra Lafave, 25, a female, Tampa area teacher pleaded guilty Tuesday to having sex with a 14-year-old student, avoiding prison as part of a plea agreement.
She'll serve three years of house arrest and seven years' probation. She pleaded guilty to two counts of lewd and lascivious battery. If found guilty at a trial, she could have faced up to 15 years on each count.
Maybe if I followed the proceedings, I'd understand how she avoided prison, or maybe if I look at the pictures I'll understand better?

Ali: On The Ropes

Muhammad Ali is not doing so well. Some say that he has only months to live. He's 63. If you never saw him fight, you really missed something. The man was magnificent in the ring. His atheletic performances were so good that they brought validity to his taunting, aimed at opponents. "I float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. Your hands can't hit what your eyes can't see." Such taunting has evolved into trash talk and is being used by lesser atheletes, to a point where it becomes a bother. I can't say that I agree with his handling of his military induction, even though he paid the price.
Ali was always such a "safe bet" that it was often hard to find someone to bet against him. Don't miss a chance to see any of his old fights!

Blue Monday @ GM

GM announced today that it is cutting 30,000 jobs and closing 9 plants. Why? Because they are losing money. Why are they losing money? Because they are not selling enough cars to cover expenses. These expenses include retired workers, current workers and benefits. The imports do not have these committments, so if they sell a car for the same price as a GM vehicle, the profit margin for the import is greater. They can use that greater profit to advertise more and to improve the quality of their product. Do I feel bad about this bit of news? A little, until I realize that GM did this, or allowed this to be done, to itself. Who loses? People who work for GM, own stock in the company and the general economy. To a degree, we all do. The picture is of Richard Wagoner, GM bigshot, putting on his best sad face. Hey Dick, here's an idea, start taking advice about selling cars from people who are actually selling (or not selling) the cars. Who knows better than they about what the buyer really wants.

Deer Season

Deer hunting season has begun in the midwest. This is something that has always puzzled me. Most peolpe say that they don't care for the taste of deer meat, but they are absolutely banannas about hunting the stuff. I'm in suport of deer hunting, if for no other reason, deer are dangerous to motorists. I speak from personal experience. In an effort to make deer meat taste better, we suggest the introduction of the product pictured on the left. This is not a real product, but if it were, it would sell well in the midwest and help to reduce the deer population.

Turbo Tap

This is not a perfect world, but we just got one step closer. It's called Turbo Tap. It pours beer faster, eliminates waste and leaves a perfect head of foam. Bars can lease the Turbo Tap for $99/year and it is now available for home use. Conventional taps will pour a pitcher of beer in about a minute. Turbo Tap can handle the job in 8 seconds. Turbo Tap is being marketed by Laminar Technologies, LLC.

Blake

I realize that in the criminial trial he was not found to be innocent, rather, not guilty. So a jury turns around in the civil trial, by a 10-2 margin, says that he is responsible for her death. The judgement is $30,000,000 for his wife's family. Blake probably does not have $30,000,000. He'll probably use the O.J. Simpson payment schedule.

MLB: Steroids Off The Menu

Major League Baseball and the team owners have all agreed to the new stiffer penalties on steroid use. Good! If you get caught with steriods in your system, here's what you get: suspended 50 games without pay for a first offense, 100 games for a second offense, and a lifetime ban for a third. It would be interesting to hear what Roger Maris would have had to say about this.

People Says Matt's Sexiest

Just so you know, People Magazine has named Matthew McConaughey sexiest man of the year. We are told that the competition was stiff this year....no we won't go there. Congrats, Matt. This probably means more money per movie, and it might be easier, now,to get chicks.

Gary Glitter

Here's a sad one...Vietnamese officials are searching for Gary Glitter. The 61-year-old Glitter, who rose to fame with a glam rock act in the 1970s, is perhaps most known for "Rock and Roll (Part 2)," which is still frequently played at sporting events and was played constantly at the Flamingo EM Club at Ft. Dix, New Jersey in the Fall of 1972. Word is out that he is or was living with a 15 year old Vietnamese girl. His real name is Paul Francis Gadd and he's been in the same type of trouble, over the years, in Cambodia and Britan. Sad story, hey man, get some help!

Britney To Pop #2?

OK, this may be weak, but here's the deal. Britney Spears is said to seek the advice of a psychic whenever she wants to make plans for the future. Still with me? Well, an American magazine, (which I have never heard of) In Touch Weekly, says that the psychic told Britney that she'd be pregnant within 6 months. This comes after rumours of money problems and a trial seperation because her husband would rather party than work. Spears' people deny everything...that's their job. As a teen, I remember a popular neighborhood saying, "mamma's baby, daddy's maybe."

Shortcomings Revealed On Career Day

I heard about this on the Bob and Tom Show. A student at Webster University in suburban St. Louis exposed himself during a Career Day event at the school. He says that it was an experiment meant to assess cultural taboos in society involving awkwardness around the human body. What's next? An experiment to see if water freezes below 32 degrees? Please notice that I am not mentioning this genius' name. This is out of respect for his parents. Wait a minute, they raised him! His name is Misha Sulpovar, a native of Ukraine, raised in Ohio, an art and religious studies major at Webster. How proud his mommy and daddy must be! His stunt has left him in hot water with the University and with the locals where he was issued three summonses to appear in court on Dec. 14: one for the charge of indecent exposure and the other two for possession of drug paraphernalia and possession of less than 35 grams of marijuana. You in a heap o'trouble, boy. Maybe they'll give you some playing cards, 'cause you obviously aren't playing with a full deck.

A Farewell To Ralph Edwards

Ralph Edwards died today. He was 92. Ralph was a very successful radio and TV announcer/producer, etc. He's probably best remembered for hosting the radio and tv versions of "This Is Your Life" and "Truth Or Consequences." The latter was so popular in the 1940's that Edwards offered money to any town in America that would change its name to "Truth Or Consequences." Well, on March 31, 1950 the town of Hot Springs, New Mexico officially changed its name and gave the quiz show more publicity that it could ever afford to buy. That was Ralph Edwards. Ralph Edwards later turned over the "Truth Or Consequences" hosting duties to a young emcee named Bob Barker.

Love Is A Beautiful Thing!

Sometimes I think that the news is turning into a freak show. Here we have the case of a 37 year old Georgia woman who has an affair and gets pregnant by her son's best friend. The dad-to-be is 15. So these two crazy kids get married in the driveway (classy) of a Georgia Judge....who claims that the union is legal. In Georgia you can be married at age 16 with the permission of a parent or legal guardian....unless she's pregnant. As it is now, she's been arrested with a hearing scheduled for November 30. I faintly remember being told that it's best to play with kids your own age.

Two Things I Learned This Week

I always like to learn new things. Especially at my advanced age, new things are particually exciting. First, I learned that you should never drive a Bently or any other car, with your jacket hiding your face. It makes the possibility of a crash likely. Thank you Stavros Niarchos for teaching me this.
Second, I learned that it is OK to drive drunk in LA if Paris Hilton is with you. Paris, are you available this Friday?

Regis Goes Prime Time

Everything that's old is new again. How about Regis Philbin hosting "This Is Your Life?" ABC is going to do just that, in Fall '06. For kids, they've never seen the show. To them it will be a form of reality TV. To us old farts, it'll be a spin on the Ralph Edwards' classic. Being a fan of Regis', I'm looking forward to it. I like to think of Regis as being a polite/wise ass. He carries it off well.
This is the show where a celebrity or a regular person is invited on stage and is surprised to be on the show and is surprised to meet several people from their past who were important in the person's life. Several different emotions come and go on the show. It started on radio in the late 40's and continued for many years on TV.

Panthers' Cheerleaders Stalled & Booted

Renee Thomas, left, and Angela Keathley, are a couple of class acts. They are, or were, cheerleaders for the Carolina Panthers. The story is that the two were allegedly having sex (with each other) in a stall at Banana Joe's, a Tampa area bar, during the early morning hours of Sunday, 11/6. A long line formed outside the little girls' room, and when the girls came out, a fight broke out. Both women were arrested. Police say that Thomas had a fake ID and that she hit a female law enforcement officer in the eye. (Don't try this, yourself. She could get 5 years for this.) These pics are from the Hillsborough County, Fla., Sheriff's Office. The duo denied having sex in the stall. Thomas & Keathley have been kicked off the squad. Penthouse Magazine is interested in talking with the ladies.

The Bell for Terrell?

Terrell Owens just doesn't get it. If you sign a contract, you are legally bound by it. If you are unhappy, on the job, you talk with your supervisor. I'm sure that he never thought that his antics would get him suspended for four games and then released! Simply put, Terrell does not play well with others. Maybe he should take up GOLF or better, yet, BOXING. Hey Terrell, I don't think that there's an NFL team who wants you...at any price. Your talent is outweighed by your "baggage." Oh, and think of the money you are losing in potential endorsements! It's just a matter of time until we read about your bankruptcy.

Pam's Moo-cedes

Pamela Anderson, an active spokesperson for PETA, wants to buy a car. Not just any car, a Mercedes G-55. It's an SUV and lists for a little over $100,000. Problem? Leather! She disapproves of the use of leather in cars. So she writes to Daimler-Benz demanding a G-55 without leather trim.
Here's what I don't understand. Mercedes uses leather in almost all of their fine automobiles. Pamela is supposedly serious about protecting animals. Why would she choose to do business with a car company which uses so much leather? If she is serious about protecting animals, I would think that she would steer clear (double pun) of Mercedes, Acura, Lexus, etc. The only reason that I can think of is that Pammy wants a Mercedes and Pammy is going to get a Mercedes.
I seem to remember that she was "discovered" at a football game as her image was randomly displayed on the stadium's big screen. Hey Pammy, do you know what is used to make footballs?

The Abercrombie & Fitch Bitch

Abercrombie & Fitch has come out with t-shirts with wording printed on them which is offensive to some women. Actually, the offended parties who are making noise are teenage girls in western Pennsylvania. The General's advice is: "GROW UP LITTLE GIRLS!" In life, you will see many tasteless things. Tasteless people too. No one is forcing you to buy these shirts. You are free not to spend your parents' money with A & C or anywhere else. On the other hand, Abercrombie & Fitch is free to print whatever they want on their products. We (you and I) are the judges as to whether this product line will be successful or not. If you are offended, remember, in a free society, the customer is as responsible for bad taste as the manufacturer is. You may be interested to know that the Abercrombie & Fitch people are enjoying more publicity from this than they could ever afford to buy. The more you complain, the more free advertising they get.