What I've Learned From Rock 'n Roll

Let's face it, Rock Music has been around for more than 50 years. Like any other art form, it is evolving. As a kid I listened to the radio - a lot! It was listening to Dan Ingram and Cousin Bruce Morrow on WABC radio that convinced me that radio was the career for me. What happened? Well, that's a story for another post. Meanwhile, here's some of what I learned from listening to popular music:

"When you ain't got nothing,you ain't got nothing to lose." - Bob Dylan
"They say that looks don't count for much - so there goes your proof!" - Joe Jackson
"Everybody's got something to hide but me and my monkey." - The Beatles (No, not Michael Jackson)
"Hate your next door neighbor, but don't forget to say grace!" - Barry McGuire
"Don't let the past remind us of what we are not now." - Crosby, Stills & Nash
"Be sure to hide your roaches." Crosby, Stills & Nash
Her face, at first just ghostly, turned the whiter shade of pale." - Procol Harum
"And Dion & The Belmonts are in the parking lot stealing hubcaps off the cars." - The 4 Preps
"There ain't no Coupe De Ville hiding at the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box." - Meatloaf
"A pretty face can hide an evil mind!" - Johnny Rivers
"I'm like a one-eyed cat, peepin' in a sea-food store." - Big Joe Turner
"After all, it's what's we've done that makes us what we are." - Jim Croce

So there you have it. It's a brief sampling. Feel free to add some of your own...

Oh, that Austin Nichols

Not to harp on the subject, but another young Hollywood Actor has been arrested and charged with drunk driving. 28 year old Austin Nichols was caught driving his Mercury Mountaineer the wrong way on a one way street in Jackson, Michigan in the middle of the night. Cops say that young Austin had a blood alcohol content of 0.10 as compared with the Michigan leagal limit of 0.08. The irony is that Austin Nichols is also the name of a liquor distillery. They make Wild Turkey along with many other fine products.

If they throw the book at him, Nichols could get 93 days in jail, a $500 fine and oodles of hours of community service.

Nichols had starred in an HBO series that few people watched and was recently canceled. I bet he wishes he were an actress in California.

Celebrity Justice!

Lindsay Lohan pleads her case and gets one day in jail for two counts of drunk driving and cocaine possession.


The moderately pregnant (Isn't love beautiful?) Nicole Ritchie gets four days and is released in less than 90 minutes due to jail overcrowding.


I can feel a "Law & Order episode in the near future based on these rulings. Loosely based, of course, in the meantime:

That'll teach 'em!

Rangers Score In Baltimore

Somebody should check what the Texas Rangers have been eating, lately. Wednesday, they beat the Baltimore Orioles 30-3. No team has scored that many runs, in one game, in the majors since 1897. That was the year that the Chicago Colts (now Cubs) edged the Louisville Colonels 36-7.
This was the first game of a doubleheader. The second game went to the Rangers, 9-7. Texas' 39 runs in a twin bill is an American league record. I should point out that the record, held by Chicago, took place during the "dead ball" era, when home runs were rare.

The Texas Rangers batting coach should renegotiate next season's contract - NOW!

The Orioles pitching coach should be practicing the phrase, "Do you want fries with that?"

Duct Tape Bandit

As I get older, I discover more and more uses for duct tape. From Ashland, Kentucky comes another use for the stuff. 24 year old Kasey Kazee, according to police,wrapped his head in duct tape and robbed a liguor store, claiming he had a knife. Kazee was tackled outside the shop by store employees. He made off with $15.
Kazee was charged with first-degree robbery and is being held on $250,000 bond. He pleaded not guilty. My take on this is that this is such a stupid crime, I almost fell sorry for the idiot. As great as this country is, how can we produce people this stupid?

Click here to see the story on MSNBC including comments from Kazee, himself.

Seagal Blames FBI

Whatever happened to Steven Seagal? In the early 90's his films were big - very big! He blames the FBI and says that his career was damaged because of false reports that he had ties to organized crime and that he intimidated a reporter.
No, that's not why your curent movies are going straight to DVD, Stevie. It's because you are making the same movie over and over, again. That plus the guys who you fight in these movies seem to fall down on their own! Also, there's the age thing. You're 56 years old. Adapt! It looks stupid, on screen, when you are kicking the crap out of young punks who are young enough to be your grandchildren. You don't see a class guy like Sean Connery try to take on the type of roles like he did in the 60's. Of course, I'm comparing apples with oranges, but the principle is still valid. You're 56. Play the part of a 56 year old - otherwise you run the risk of embarassing yourself. That'll kill a career faster that you can say whatever the hell it is you say when you kick someone in the face!

OFF-erman HIS ROCKER

Jose, you're an idiot!
You've been in the major leagues for 15 years, an all star twice, you are 38 years old and you get hit on the wrist with a slider in a minor league game and you go beserk? Here's what happened. The Long Island Ducks of the Atlantic League are playing the Bridgeport Bluefish, in Connecticut. Offerman, was fooled with a slider which was called a strike. Next, the pitcher throws the same pitch. This one was a little farther inside and hits Offerman on the wrist. Jose thought that the pitcher was "throwing at him!" Common baseball ettiquette says that if you think that the pitcher is throwing at you, you drop your bat, then you run out to the mound and slugg it out. Sounds simple? Jose forgot to drop the bat before swinging it at the pitcher and catcher. Result: Pitcher is injured, catcher suffers a concussion, Offerman is arrested on assult charges and suspended from the league indefinately. The only thing missing is a lawsuit. Being that this is America, and being that Offerman is probably the richest guy on the field - I'm sure the local attorneys are making their calls.

Bridgeport won the game, 7-4. They go at it again, tonight at 7:05 EDT. You can hear the game at www.liducks.com.

Trivia: The manager of the Bridgeport team is Tommy John.

ELVIS: 30 Years Later

Today is the 30th anniversary of the death of Elvis Presley. In 1977 disco music was the main thing. I was working middays at a top 40 station in Terre Haute, Indiana when the UPI machine spit out a very brief headilne saying that Elvis Presley had been found dead in his home. That was it. I was on the air, at the time, and my program director brought the wire copy to me along with a scratchy old Elvis 45 RPM record. I think it was "It's Now Or Never." The irony was that, at that time, we weren't playing any Elvis songs.
30 years later, you can still find an amazing amount of Elvis crap on the internet. I say crap because that's basically what it is, being sold by leeches. If you want to remember Elvis, buy his box set or any of his CD's. If you see an Elvis movie you can be sure that the acting is mediocre. That's OK. You see, every one of his films made money! Can Tom Cruise say that? Elvis' musical popularity was so huge that fans didn't care about his acting. They simply couldn't get enough of him. Looking for proof, still? The proof is huddled around Graceland, this morning.

Dorothy Kilgallen

This has been bothering me for a few days. I thought I'd add it here so it might bother you for a few days too!
Ask anybody over 50 years of age if they remember Dorothy Kilgallen. They'll say, "Sure." Her initial claim to fame was that she was a serious newspaper reporter. This was long before TV news. She was born in 1913 in Chicago. She moved to New York in the 30's, spent a year at my mother's Alma Mater, College of New Rochelle and wrote for the NY Journal American. This is not why we remember her. In 1940 she married. In 1945, she and her husband began a morning show on WOR Radio. It was called "Breakfast With Dorothy & Dick." The show was on from 8:15 AM - 8:55 AM. They spoke mostly about show biz and the contemporary culture surrounding life in New York City. My parents listened to the show - religiously. I hated the show. If you lived in the New York metropolitan area between 1945 and 1964 you would be familiar with the program. But, again, the radio show was not her claim to fame. She was on TV. "What's My Line?" was an extremely popular TV show on Sunday evenings. It was on after Ed Sullivan and Candid Camera. Well, Dorothy Kilgallen was a regular panelist on "What's My Line" and she would try to guess the guest's job. Not too complicated, right? America was fascinated with the show! It was done live, every Sunday night.
So what's bothering me about Dorothy Kilgallen? I hated her radio show, I was too young to stay up to watch "What's My Line?," I didn't read her gossip column. So what is it about Dorothy Kilgallen? I'll tell you what it is. She died under unusual circumstances and nobody seemed to be concerned enough to investigate.
I should back up a bit. Remember when I mentioned that she was a newspaper reporter. Well, in 1964 she went to Dallas to interview Jack Ruby. She was the only reporter to conduct a private interview with Ruby. She returns to New York and tells friends that she has info that will blow the lid off the Kennedy Assassination investigation. Dorothy was having some money problems. Her radio show had been cancelled, her newspaper was doing poorly and her husband became a lot better at spending money than he was at making money. Dorothy decided to write a book. A book would pay a lot more than dumping her Jack Ruby tell-all in her newspaper column! Up until now I've been mentioning fact. The following is speculation on my part and on the part of others. The wrong people heard that Kilgallen was to write about the Assassination. Long story short - Dorothy is found dead in her bed on a Monday morning. Alcohol and barbituates. But, she is found in a bedroom that she hadn't slept in - in years. In bed with her was a book that she had finished reading weeks before. Her reading glasses were not in the room. She had not removed her makeup. She was dressed in clothing that, according to friends, she would never wear to bed. Sound suspicious, yet?
Like I said, I never really cared for the woman - a little too hoitty acting for me. It may have been an act, I don't care. What's important is that she was trying to do her job. Trying to tell us a story - the truth.
Like I said, this has been bothering me for a few days. I don't think the lady committed suicide. I think it was a hit. This is really a double mystery. First her death, second, the lack of answers from any kind of an investigation.
Anybody know anybody at "Dateline NBC" or "20-20" or "48 Hours?" Just wondering.

Rizzuto

Sad news. Yankee Hall Of Fame shortstop Phil Rizzuto died, yesterday. He was 89. Rizzuto was incredibly popular in the New York area for decades. He was American League MVP in 1950. I could say a lot of nice things about the guy, like he taught the game of baseball to us kids as we listened to his Yankee broadcasts. He'd give advice on how to play the game. He's tell us not to copy a particular batter's stance. He was one of the good ones. In his entire career, do you know how many times he was kicked out of a ball game? Never! Not once! Rizzuto was a rare combination of "class" without a lot of polish. People who knew him say that he always made you feel welcome. This is a lesson for all of us. He broadcast Yankee games on radio and on TV for 40 years. Listening to him was like sitting next to a friend at a game. He'd talk baseball, but he would also talk about other things. Many other things, like the difficulty of telling boys from girls at the ballpark, his love of old movies, golf and the one time that he shot a hole-in-one! He was never too serious about himself - claiming to prefer radio to TV because on radio people can't see and you can make things up.
He was semi retired from broadcasting when Mickey Mantle died. Phil wanted to go to the funeral. His broadcast bosses said no. Phil stayed and later quit. One of a kind, certainly.
We'll miss him.

Rizzuto Tribute

Rizzuto "on" Seinfeld

Leno's Serious Side

Jay Leno wrote this; it's the Jay Leno we don't often see....
"The other day I was reading Newsweek magazine and came across some poll data I found rather hard to believe. It must be true given the source, right?
T he Newsweek poll alleges that 67 percent of Americans are unhappy with the direction the country is headed and 69 percent of the country is unhappy with the performance of the president. In essence 2/3s of the citizenry just ain't happy and want a change.
So being the knuckle dragger I am, I started thinking,''What we are so unhappy about?''
Is it that we have electricity and running water 24 hours a day, 7 days a week? Is our unhappiness the result of having air conditioning in the summer and heating in the winter? Could it be that 95.4 percent of these unhappy folks have a job? Maybe it is the ability to walk into a grocery store at any time and see more food in moments than Darfurhas seen in the last year?
Maybe it is the ability to drive from the Pacific Ocean to the Atlantic Ocean without having to present identification papers as we move through each state? Or possibly the hundreds of clean and safe motels we would find along the way that can provide temporary shelter?
I guess having thousands of restaurants with varying cuisine from around the world is just not good enough. Or could it be that when we wreck our car, emergency workers show up and provide services to help all and even send a helicopter to take you to the hospital.

Perhaps you are one of the 70 percent of Americans who own a home. You may be upset with knowing that in the unfortunate case of a fire, a group of trained firefighters will appear in moments and use top notch equipment to extinguish the flames thus saving you, your family and your belongings.

Or if, while at home watching one of your many flat screen TVs, a burglar or prowler intrudes , an officer equipped with a gun and a bullet-proof vest will come to defend you and your family against attack or loss. This all in the backdrop of a neighborhood free of bombs or militias raping and pillaging the residents. Neighborhoods where 90 percent of teenagers own cell phones and computers.

How about the complete religious, social and political freedoms we enjoy that are the envy of everyone in the world? Maybe that is what has 67 percent of you folks unhappy.
Fact is, we are the largest group of ungrateful, spoiled brats the world has ever seen. No wonder the world loves theU.S., yet has a great disdain for its citizens. They see us for what we are. The most blessed people in the world who do nothing but complain about what we don't have , and what we hate about the country instead of thanking the good Lord we live here.

I know, I know. What about the President who took us into war and has no plan to get us out? The President who has a measly 31 percent approval rating? Is this the same President who guided the nation in the dark days after 9/11? The President that cut taxes to bring an economy out of recession? Could this be the same guy who has been called every name in the book for succeeding in keeping all the spoiled ungrateful brats safe from terrorist attacks?

The commander in chief of an all-volunteer army that is out there defending you and me? Did you hear how bad the President is on the news or talk show? Did this news affect you so much, make you so unhappy you couldn't take a look around for yourself and see all the good things and be glad?

Think about it.....are you upset at the President because he actually caused you personal pain OR is it because the "Media" told you he was failing to kiss your sorry ungrateful behind every day.

Make no mistake about it. The troops in Iraq and Afghanistan have volunteered to serve, and in many cases may have died for your freedom. There is currently no draft in this country. They didn't have to go

They are able to refuse to go and end up with either a ''general'' discharge, an ''other than honorable'' discharge or, worst case scenario, a ''dishonorable'' discharge after a few days in the brig.
So why then the flat-out discontentment in the minds of 69 percent of Americans? Say what you want but I blame it on the media. If it bleeds it leads and they specialize in bad news. Everybody will watch a car crash with blood and guts. How many will watch kids selling lemonade at the corner? The media knows this and media outlets are for-profit corporations. They offer what sells , and when criticized, try to defend the ir actions by "justifying" them in one way or another. Just ask why they tried to allow a murderer like O.J. Simpson to write a book about how he didn't kill his wife, but if he did he would have done it this way......Insane!

Stop buying the negativism you are fed everyday by the media. Shut off the TV, burn Newsweek, and use the New York Times for the bottom of your bird cage. Then start being grateful for all we have as a country. There is exponentially more good than bad.

We are among the most blessed people on Earth and should thank God several times a day, or at least be thankful and appreciative."

"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, "Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"

Jay Leno

Hey Vick, Chew On This!

Now this is clever! I saw it on the news. The guy who came up with this idea deserves to become a millionaire. It's the Michael Vick Doggie Chew Toy. I'm told that it is very durable. Some of the proceeds from this product go to animal shelters! There's more to it....like the company's mascot is "Vick" the pit bull. Vist the product's site by clicking here.