Bronx Cheer For Jeter

Captain Classless

Derek Jeter, based on his team contributions, is probably the best shortstop in Yankee history. You've gotta wonder where his head is at. He's batting .268 this season. He was selected to the American League All Star team. He didn't show up, saying that he was too tired after scoring his 3,000th hit. The AL probably could have used him, since they lost.

Here's where the Bronx Cheer for Jeter comes in. Jeter has a provision in his contract with the Yankes that he receives an extra $500,000 bonus if he is selected to the American League All Star Team. So, he gets the bonus and blows off the fans and the league by not showing up in Phoenix.

I've got news for you Derek, I'm tired, too. I work 60+ hours a week and I don't feel comfortable spending my salary on a Yankees ticket...And I don't get to take off for the winter!

You, Too, Can Smell Like A Shortstop!

New York Yankee shortstop Derek Jeter holds a bottle of his new fragrance called Driven, Tuesday, Aug. 1, 2006 in New York. The fragrance will be available from Avon this November, just in time for Christmas. (Not using it, guys, could cause an error?)

This opens up many other possibilities. Alan Greenspan could come out with a fragrance called "Recession" - guaranteed to heighten "interest."