LiLo In Playboy

Yes! It's what the world has been waiting for! Lindsay Lohan is doing a photoshoot for Playboy magazine!

I'm excited about this from purely an economic standpoint. Lindsay Lohan has been unemployed for quite a while, now. She's been getting a bunch of bad press. Her attorney says that nobody wants to see his client in a movie! So she goes from a downward spiral to the pages of Playboy! Is this a great country or what?

There's more...the money. She wanted a million dollars. The magaine offered $700,000. Somehow, they met with an agreed amount! Doesn't this give you a warm and fuzzy feeling?

Publication date has not been announced. My guess that it would coincide with a real life entry or release from jail? I think they call it marketing.

Lindsay's New Role: Morgue Janitor

The Lindsay (Lohan) soap opera continues! On Friday, she was sentenced to 120 days in jail and 480 hours of community service. The community service will be 360 hours at the Los Angeles Women's Center and 120 hours at the Los Angeles Mission Road Coroner's office where she will sweep and mop floors and wash windows. (Sounds like what I did during Basic Training)

The sentence was in response to a probation violation for an alleged jewelry theft. The probation was for a drunk driving conviction.

Her attorneys are appealing Friday's ruling, but the community service begins in about a week. She's out on bail, at the moment.Lohan made bail on Friday within five hours of getting the 120-day jail term.

Lohan still faces a June 3 trial in her grand theft (necklace) charge, which has since been reduced to a misdemeanor, and faces a maximum penalty of an additional year behind bars.

You know, this is all a waste. It's a waste of courtroom time. A waste of talent and good looks on a weirdo. It's also a waste of space on this blog...and space on this blog is FREE!

Lohan Goes To Jail

Well, boys and girls, this is what happens in the real world when you blow off a court order - seven times within seven months! Lindsay Lohan was sentenced today to 90 days in jail followed by 90 days of inpatient rehabilitation.

If this sounds harsh to you, it was done primarily for her own good. She's 24 and she has a problem. Here's what's going to happen. Since the budget problems are so bad in California, she may serve as little as 10% of her sentence, Let's see, 10% of 90 days = 9 days? Rehabilitation is going to do nothing to help this one.

Pick Lohan in the next year's celebrity death pool. The signs are there!

Stars Not Shining For Palin

Lindsay Lohan doesn't like Sarah Palin. Neither does Matt Damon, Oprah, Pink nor Pam Anderson. Pam Anderson said that Palin "Can suck it." Nice vocabulary. Uh, Pam, apparently, you can too, I saw the video!
Back to Miss Lindsay. She has a My Space Page and she wrote: "I really cannot bite my tongue anymore when it comes to Sarah Palin. Is it a sin to be gay? Should it be a sin to be straight? Or to use birth control? Or to have sex before marriage? Or even to have a child out of wedlock?"
You are absolutely right, Lindsay, we should all strive to do these things, and get drunk as often as possible and smoke crack like there's no tomorrow! We unconnected people appreciate your insight. How can we ever thank you?

If these famous people are serious about their guy Obama changing his address to 1600 Pennsylvania Ave., they may want to shut up! The undecided voters in key states like Ohio, Florida, Missouri and others may not be hip enough to dig your buzz.

The World Is Searching For...Britney!

That's right! For some rason we can't get enough of Britney Spears! This makes 6 of the past 7 years that "Unfittney" has graced the top spot on Yahoo's annual list of the top searches. In 2006 Paris Hilton was #1, she's number 3 on '07. Number 2 at Yahoo was WWE. Number 4 is Naruto - a Japanese thing. #5 is Beyonce - she could do better with some legal convictions, maybe a half dozen rehab attempts would help. Let's face it, talent ain't enough to edge past Britney. #6 is Lindsay Lohan. Missing from this year's top ten are Jessica Simpson and Pamela Anderson.
I was watching Game Show Network during the wee hours of Sunday night/early Monday morning and I saw a rare episode of the first Goodson-Toddman Quiz Shows. It was called "Winner Take All." This particular episode aired on CBS TV in 1951. It was hosted by a young Barry Gray. This is the same Barry Gray who is idolized by Larry King as the "father of talk radio." Well, anyway, the show was awlful. Gray tried to be funny and was so flat that it was hard to watch. The prizes were household appliances made by companies that I've never heard of. That's odd since I'm old enough to remember when they invented rope. But I digress. 56 years after "Winner Take All" aired we see how much network TV has changed. Aside from the technical advances, we see that people acted, or carried themselves, differently back in the Black & White days of the early '50s. What I'm saying is that I'd rather watch bad '50s TV than bad '00s TV.
I can't help wondering what Yahoo's top 10 searches would have been for 1951?

Celebrity Justice!

Lindsay Lohan pleads her case and gets one day in jail for two counts of drunk driving and cocaine possession.


The moderately pregnant (Isn't love beautiful?) Nicole Ritchie gets four days and is released in less than 90 minutes due to jail overcrowding.


I can feel a "Law & Order episode in the near future based on these rulings. Loosely based, of course, in the meantime:

That'll teach 'em!