I Want My D-TV!

We've been waiting forever for the February 17, 2009 national conversion to digital TV in the U.S. Now, there's a bill in Congress that will delay the switch to digital until June 12. Why? Because our lawmakers are concerned that the poor or elderly or rural folks will not be ready by February 17th! By their standards, I am probably all three of those things - elderly, rural & poor! Thanks for your concern, but I'm ready - bring it on! You guys, in D.C. should be concerned with more important things like terrorism, world hunger, you know...serious stuff. For those people who are not ready for digital TV, maybe it's not important to them. They probably (gulp) read books and newspapers. Me? I just want to see Entertainment Tonight in high defination digital TV!

Friday Foto - Katie Price

I've been considering the decision to use Katie Price as a Friday Foto for a while, now. She's very popular in the UK, but the rest of the world is unfamiliar with her. She's essentially famous for....well she's famous for being famous. I can't knock it if she can pull it off!

Have a nice weekend!

You May Be A Taliban If....

Our Chief Foreign Affairs Correspondant, Benny Brown, has an interesting observation....

Troops in Afghanistan have retained their sense of humour with: 'YOU MAY BE A TALIBAN IF...'
1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.
2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.
3. You have more wives than teeth.
4. You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon 'unclean.'
5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
6. You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared Jihad against.
7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
9. You've often uttered the phrase, 'I love what you've done with your cave.'
10. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one.
11. You bathe at least monthly whether necessary or not.
12. You have a crush on your neighbor's goat.

Ding Dong The Gov Is Gone!

Thank God this is over with! It's been an odd couple of months. Living in Illinois, I've been embarrassed and humored by our Governor's devious, cynical, corrupt, inept, dishonest, hypocritical and irresponsible behavior. Those words, by the way, are taken from the Illinois Senate in describing Gov Rod's leadership.

The Illinois State Senate is made up of 37 Democrats and 22 Republicans. All 59 voted guilty at Blagojevich's impeachment trial. I mention this to suggest that the outcome was not politically motivated, it was logically motivated! The man's an arrogant punk. I've worked for guys like him, before. I'm surprised that he doesn't own a radio station!

Iraqi Shoe Monument

I don't like this at all. The image on the left is a monument which was built in connection with the shoe throwing incident with President Bush as the target. Here's the story from the Associated Press:

BAGHDAD — When an Iraqi journalist hurled his shoes at George W. Bush last month at a Baghdad press conference, the attack spawned a flood of Web quips, political satire and street rallies across the Arab world. Now it's inspired a work of art. A sofa-sized shoe statue was unveiled Thursday in Tikrit, the hometown of the former Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein.

Baghdad-based artist Laith al-Amari described his fiberglass-and-copper work as a homage to the pride of the Iraqi people.

The statue also has inscribed a poem honoring Muntadhar al-Zeidi, the Iraqi journalist. Al-Zeidi was charged with assaulting a foreign leader, but the trial was postponed after his lawyer sought to reduce the charges.

NBC Bans PETA Ad From 'Bowl

I guess NBC is't hungry enough for PETA's proposed Super Bowl Ad! The network "suits" say that the ad is too racey for their standards. PETA says the ad is a playful attempt to get folks to give up meat - especially fast food.

Here's the ad, comments?

Miss Bush?

We have a new President and things seem to be working well. No matter how well things are with the new guy, you can't deny that it's different.
Here are some quotes attributed to G.W.:

1. 'The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country.'
2. 'If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.'
3. 'Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.'
4. 'No senior citizen should ever have to choose between prescription drugs and medicine.'
5. 'I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change.'
6. 'One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.'
7. 'Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.'
8. 'I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future.'
9. 'The future will be better tomorrow.'
10. 'We're going to have the best educated American people in the world.'
11. 'One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.' (during an
education photo-op)
12. 'Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it.'
13. 'We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.'
14. 'It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.'
15. 'I stand by all the misstatements that I've made.' - George W. Bush to Sam Donaldson

NFL - Super Bowl Pick!

It's finally here! NFL's most hyped event of the year, the Super Bowl! The truth is, the best football of the season has already been played. There is a chance that this year's Super Bowl may provide some drama, but I doubt it.

General Tom's prediction, Steelers by at least one touchdown.

Cool Deals!

This is what 7 inches of snow looks like. Click the picture for the full effect. Shouldn't we be plowing the snow away from the cars? What do I know?

It's unusual for us to get this much snow at one time. Within 48 hours, it should be melted. In the meantime, there's no school today and from the looks of it - we won't be selling many cars.

Unemployed? Get a Blog!

I'm watching Fox & Friends, this morning and they're talking about how to apply for a job. They mention that having a blog can be helpful! This suggestion amused me to the point where I thought I should mention it. By the way, if you are an employer, looking for someone to hire, offering obscenely high pay, contact me. I'm always looking to upgrade. Write to GeneralTom10@excite.com.

I'm sure that this will work for me, after all, I saw it on TV!

Lifetime

No football on TV this week. Late this morning there was nothing to watch but infomercials and the usual dribble that I've already seen and/or would bother Mrs. General Tom. This is when I switched to Lifetime! Lifetime Movie Channel to be exact. Have you ever noticed that all of the movies on Lifetime are the same? There's the unfairly embattled woman who is victimized by a psycho man who, like all of us, is evil scum. The woman barely survives and, in the end, is scarred but victorious! Life goes on, happily ever after!

I'm amazed that these two channels exist, much less prosper! This is simply added proof that I'm a dinosaur from the 50's. I'm waiting for the DVD collection of "The Adventures Of Ozzie & Harriet!" Now that's TV!

Miss America

This has never happened before! In the 88 year history of Miss America, Miss Indiana has never been chosen. While this fact does not shock me, I do find it barely interesting....just enough to mention it here. Her name is Katie Stam, a college senior at University of Indianapolis majoring in Communications. She wants to be a broadcast journalist.

Even if she can't read or write, she has three things going for her.
1. She has the Miss America title.
2. The FCC bullies broadcast stations into putting women and minorities on the air, regardless of merit. (I should point out that I personally know some women who are extremely worthy of their news anchoring positions.)
3. She's a credit to her gene pool - not hard to look at.

Of course, I could be wrong, but, don't they have broadcast journalists on radio, too?

Naw!

Friday Foto - Gabrielle Tuite

This week's Friday Foto takes us to the beach. Yesssss, it's Brooklyn born Gabrielle Tuite. If your lifestyle allows you to watch daytime TV, you'll recognize her from The Price Is Right. Click the picture for the full effect!

Living in the midwest, I miss the beach.

Have a nice weekend!

If You Seek Amy

This is really not that clever. I heard about this on the radio. Britney Spears' Circus album is doing well. One of the cuts on it is "If You Seek Amy." Read the title again and repeat it a few times ant what does it sound like? Better yet, listen to the song. It's blatant. This is exactly what I'd expect from a minimal talent (I'm being generous, here) punk.
They say that we all have our price. Britney's price is having a successful record album. I've attached the lyrics and a link to the song on You Tube.

La la la la la la la la
la la la la la la la la (2x)

Oh baby baby have you seen Amy tonight?
Is she in the bathroom? Is she smokin up outside? Ouuh
Oh baby baby does she take a piece of lime
For the drink that I’ma buy her
Do you know just what she likes so?
Oh oh tell me have you seen her
Cuz I’m so-oh oh
I can’t get her out of my brain
I just wanna go to the party she gon’ go
Can somebody take me home?
Ha ha he he ha ha ho

Love me, hate me
Say what you want about me
But all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If U Seek Amy
Love me, hate me
But can’t you see what I see?
All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If U Seek Amy
Love me, hate me
Britney Spears lyrics on www.lyrics-celebrities.anekatips.com

La la la la la la la la
la la la la la la la la (2x)

Amy told me that's shes gonna meet me up
I don’t know where or when and now their closing up the club Ouuuh
I’ve seen her once or twice before she knows my face
But its hard to see with all the people standing in the way ouuuh

Oh oh
Tell me have you seen her cause I’m so oh
I can’t get her off of my brain
I just wanna go to the party she gon’ go
Can't somebody take me home
Ha ha he he ha ha ho

Love me, hate me
Say what you want about me
But all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If U Seek Amy
Love me, hate me
But can’t you see what I see?
All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If You Seek Amy
Love me, hate me
Say what you want about me
Oh but can’t you see what I see
Yeaaah say what you want about me (about me, about me)

So tell me if you see her
(if you knew what she was wearing and what she was like)
Cause I’ve been waiting here forever
(if you knew if she was going out of line)
Oh baby baby if u seek Amy tonight
Oh baby baby we’ll do whatever you like
Oh baby baby baby
Oh baby baby baby

La la la la la la la la
la la la la la la la la (2x)

Love me, hate me
Say what you want about me
But all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If U Seek Amy
Love me, hate me
But can’t you see what I see?
All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If U Seek Amy

Love me, hate me
Say what you want about me yeaah
Love me, hate me
But can’t you see what I see
All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If You Seek Amy
Love me, hate me
Say what you want about me
Oh but can’t you see what I see
Say what you want about me
But all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If U Seek Amy

"Stairway To Heaven" it ain't

Palin Book Deal

Sarah Palin ... remember her? Well she's looking for a publisher to print a book that she hasn't yet written. She'll probably never write it, she will more likely tell it to a ghost writer. She apparently has enlisted the help of superstar Washington attorney Robert Barnett, who has brokered book deals for such political A-listers as President Barack Obama, former President Bill Clinton and Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton. Attorney? Sounds more like a high powered agent! He's also handled TV deals for many top news anchors and reporters, among them Brian Williams, Lesley Stahl, Neil Cavuto, Christiane Amanpour and Dr. Sanjay Gupta.

I find the prospect of a book by Sarah Palin to be fascinating. (Crayons sold seperately?)

Inauguration Day

There's really only one story today. it's the Coronation, naw, I mean, er, Inauguration of Barack Obama. There are many people who are out-of-their-minds in excitement over this scene!

- It's the first Black American President. The older you are, the more amazing this milestone is, for you!
- Other people are celebrating the end of George Bush's time at the White House. I'm not going to bash Bush. It serves no purpose. Let's hope that we can learn from his administration. Tactful? Yes, I could've been in politics!
- Many people are celebrating HOPE! Yes, hope that the things that are screwed up can be fixed.

I am writing this, two hours before the ceremony. (The picture is from the 2005 Inauguration of GWB.) The tremendous outpouring of support for Obama is the real story! It's safe to say that we've never seen anything like this - in several respects.

This should be a most interesting time for Americans and the world.

Verizon Internet DisService

Hey! I got a brand new computer for Christmas! It's a beautiful thing! No longer were Mrs. General Tom & I slowed by the antiquated dial-up technology of our ancestors. We picked Verizon for our broadband connection. In this part of the country, they are the obvious choice, unless you want your internet connection to be in the same bracket as your neighbor's mortgage.

We've had Verizon Internet for less than two weeks. Worse than horrible, worse than pitiful! It's so bad that I don't even know the word to describe it. First, we had to wait more than a week to get the equipment from Verizon. Next, we lost our connection on two separate occasions. They should grab one of the guys on the Verizon TV commercials, you know, out of the throng which is standing behind the Verizon Geek. Yeah, they should send one of these guys to my house to fix my problem. You know, some time between now and when my one year contract expires!

One suggestion, please dump the automated telephone calls - the ones where the woman with the pretty voice tells me that your technicians are working to resolve my problem.

Actually, I should congratulate Verizon on becoming too big to give a rat's ass about their customers.

Friday Foto - Adriana Lima

If the weather is cold where you are, I'll do my part to raise the temp a few degrees. Featured in this week's Friday Foto is Adriana Lima. She's a Victoria's Secret model from Brazil. You can find many pictures of her on the internet. I kinda like this one. It's not posed and not airbrushed. As usual, click on the pic for the full effect

Have a nice weekend!

Miracle On The Hudson

Extraordinary story out of New York. By now we've heard about the U.S. Airways Airbus A320 that crashed in the Hudson River, shortly after takeoff from LaGuardia Airport. We know that all 155 passengers and crew made it out safely and that the cause of the crash was engine failure after a flock of geese were sucked into the jet's engines.

Here's what you may not know. The pilot had to "clear" the George Washington Bridge....with no power! Aviation experts said that landing a commercial jet on water without the plane breaking apart was extraordinary. "A water landing is typically even more destructive than a ground landing. It is amazing an Airbus jet was able to land in the river without breaking up," said Max Vermij, an air accident investigator with Accident Cause Analysis of Ottawa, Canada. He speculated that the plane would have hit the water at a speed of about 140 knots. "Typically the wings and engines would break off on impact, water would plow into the jet and tear apart the fuselage."

Lucky? The survivors should all buy lottery tickets...as soon as possible!

NFL Picks - Conference Championship Games

I haven't been doing very well in picking NFL playoff winners. I think I'm 2 of 8. Well, we have two game to consider - both of them on Sunday. The winners go to the Super Bowl.
Here are my picks:

PHILADELPHIA at arizona
baltimore at PITTSBURGH.

Between now and next week I will consult with my accounting people and will provide you with the final stats on this season's predictions.

Damn, It's Cold!!!

Yeah, it's January in the great American Midwest! I got to work this morning and it was -7 degrees farenheit. My office is 5 degrees cooler than usual. The phones at work are not working. The picture is of a frozen Lake Michigan at Chicago's Edgewater neighborhood. The picture was taken earlier in the month by General Tom's Blog staff photographer and contributing editor, Lt. Daniel. Click on the image for the full effect. Local forecast calls for a high today, in Terre Haute, of +4/wind chill -19.

Oddly enough, I'm sure that I'll see a red neck in shorts and a tee shirt - it's Terre Haute!

Marcus Schrenker

Marcus Schrenker is a 38 year old alleged crooked financial advisor from Indiana. Below, we see a snapshot of Marcus and his wife, Michelle and his Lexus and his Airplane.

Marcus has had a bad run of luck, lately. He's getting sued, left and right. His wife files for divorce and his father dies. So what does young, handsome Marcus do? He gets in his plane on Sunday and flies south. While flying over Alabama he radios a distress call, puts the plane on automatic pilot, and parachutes from the plane. He should have arranged for the plane to crash in the Gulf of Mexico. It fell short, hitting land and doing no damage or injury.
Marcus is in custody in Florida. They say he had a motorcycle waiting for him where he bailed out. Probably his biggest mistake is when he e-mailed a friend on Monday after he faked his death on Sunday.

Boys and girls, here's what we can learn from young Marcus. When you fake your death, it is very important to use a new name and to resist the temptation to correspond with old friends.

Dumb, dumb, dumb. And I bet he hadn't paid off that airplane, or the Lexus, or the house, or.......

Local Chrysler Dealership Can't Dodge Recession

I live in a small town in east central Illinois with a population of roughly 3,700. We are the "county seat" and we are losing our Chrysler-Dodge-Jeep Dealership. I hear that they plan to close their doors at the end of this week. Apparently, a lot of the townspeople buy their cars in other towns. Yeah, you can blame the dealership's upper management and ultimately the ownership. The guy who owns the place donates hundreds of thousands of dollars a year to the community. It's interesting to see how he is thanked. Probably the saddest thing to see is that the dealership employees are going to have to find other ways to feed their families. Being a car salesman, myself for the past dozen + years, I can tell you that the public looks on us as scum and could not care less.

Yes, in my little town, people will drive by our little defunct Chrysler - Dodge - Jeep Store, in their Mitsubishis (bought in Terre Haute from a certain handsome & holy, ex-jock)to dine at the local fast food place.
Here's what's really happening - when a business in your town dies, a little bit of your town dies, too.

Dungy Leaves Colts

One of the class acts in the NFL is Tony Dungy. There's been speculation for the past few years that he was close to hanging it up. Well, Fox news reports that he will resign today. Reports say that the coach isn't answering his cell phone. Well, NOBODY answers their cell phone.
Dungy was special -
-He is the first Black head coach to win the Super Bowl.
-He reached the playoffs all seven seasons, winning five division titles and appearing in two AFC title games.
-Dungy finishes his career as the Colts’ franchise leader in victories, going 85-27 in the regular season and 7-6 in the playoffs.
-He’s the only coach in NFL history to produce six straight 12-win seasons and 10 consecutive playoff appearances.

But Dungy’s teams were also eliminated from the playoffs four times without winning a game, including the past two seasons after winning the Super Bowl— prompting some to speculate that Dungy’s indecision may have hurt the Colts’ focus.

Coach Dungy will be missed in Indianapolis. His likely replacement is Jim Caldwell, Dungy's assistant and former quarterback coach who followed Dungy from Tampa Bay.

The Lesson Of The Monkeys

This was sent to by by Benny, our European Bureau Chief. Thanks Benny!

Once upon a time a man appeared in a village and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each.

The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them. The man bought thousands at $10 and, as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their efforts.

He next announced that he would now buy monkeys at $20 each. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.

Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so scarce it was an effort to even find a monkey, let alone catch one.

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50 each! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would buy on his behalf.

In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers: "Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has already collected. I will sell them to you at $35 ... and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each."

The villagers rounded up all their savings and bought all the monkeys for 700 billion dollars.

They never saw the man or his assistant again,
only lots and lots of monkeys.
Now you have a better understanding of how the
WALL STREET BAILOUT PLAN WILL WORK.

Friday Foto - Jessica Alba

This week, we "class-up" the Friday Foto.
It's our old friend Jessica Alba with an interesting pose for the Campari Calendar. Campari is an Italian Liqueur which can be enjoyed on the rocks or in a mixed drink.
Jessica, on the other hand....

Have a nice weekend.