William F. Buckley, R.I.P.

William F. Buckley, Jr. died this morning in his Connecticut home. He was 82. I mentioned this to the guys at work. They say, "Who?" If a NASCAR driver were to get fined, they'd be all over it, but the death of one of the great conservative thinkers of our time? Whodat?
Buckley was terrific. I always enjoyed hearing him speak. It sounded like he was speaking the gospel truth, even when he wasn't. Often he would embellish his subject matter with a series of $15 words. It's hard to argue with someone who you can't fully understand. He was seldom abrasive. He didn't need to be, as he was usually the smartest and most articulate person in the room. He had a sense of humor, too. You can hear him speak by clicking here.
He's famous for starting the National Review, a bi-weekly conservative magazine. He was wealthy from birth, having been born into an oil-rich family.

SPAM - It's Branching Out

Like most of us, I get my share of spam. Most of it is is for low cost medication, physical, er, enhancement, stock market tips...you know. I got one today selling tips to testifying in court! Here's the body of the e-mail:

WHEN: Tuesday, April 8, 2008
TIME: 11am - 12pm Eastern Time
WHERE: Anywhere You Can Dial a Phone
COST: $199 for as many people as you can fit around your phone
BENEFITS:
- The 7 most common reasons for poor testimony and how to fix them.
- The truth about jurors: what they expect from a small business owner/manager (the good, the bad and the ugly) and how that matters to you.
- The proper techniques for overcoming stubborn stereotypes and jurors' preconceived ideas. Make the choice to reinforce or dispel them.
- Make jurors see you as the good guy in the workforce. Win jurors over before you ever even take the stand or are deposed.
- What makes for credible, confident self-presentation: Hint – body language is important!
- How to survive the shark-infested waters of cross-examination. 5 ways to help prevent lawsuits in the first place!
- And more.

Now, if only they could get a product endorsement from Judge Judy!

2008 Presidential Election Results!

My sources have delivered the results to the 2008 U.S. Presidential Election!

Diebold Accidentally Leaks Results Of 2008 Election Early
Thanks Benny!

Alycia Cleared

Recently divorced, former Philly news anchor Alycia Lane has been cleared of charges in New York City that she punched out a NYC Policewoman. Actually, the charges were downgraded, so if she remains a good girl for the next six months, she won't have to worry about a fine or some time.
Alycia also made news last spring after sending a series of e-mail(s) to ESPN anchor Rich Eisen. The messages contained some racy bikini shots. The messages were opened up by Mrs. Eisen who responded telling Alicia to keep up the workouts and to keep the email.
I mentioned that Alycia is a former Philadelphia anchor. She was suspended by her TV station following the assault charge and was later released from her contract in January of this year.
GT's take: Her on-line photos look to be doctored. Her face pasted badly on a hot body. Pretty lady, pretty bad judgement.
Bottom line: For an on-air female minority to be fired by an American network-owned tv station, she must have really screwed up.

Eminem: The Book

This struck me as being funny.
Eminem is "writing" his memoir. What's funny about that? Who's going to read it? I mean, I'm sure that some of his fans can read.....but a book? They say that the book will have pictures. It should also come with a box of crayons!

SMART TV

For as long as I can remember, it's been fashionable to say that there's nothing but junk on TV. This is as true now as it ever was - maybe more so. Don't get me wrong. I like most of what I see on the local news and some of the network and cable newscasts. Much of the Cable news programs seem to try to manufacture news events. This goes a step beyond analyzing events and developments to the point of speculation. There are so many TV channels, now, that a program doesn't seem to need to be as "special" to get aired as it used to be.
Enough of that.
Yahoo ran a story on the Smartest TV Shows of all time. Here's how the list went:
Frasier
The West Wing
Boston Legal
Jeopardy
Cosmos
House
CSI
All In The Family
Mad About You
MASH
Smart TV? Yes, compared with anything on E!
The possibilities for GOOD TV are endless. All of these shows were above average, all were huge money makers, but you have to ask yourself, "Could we do better?" Ask yourself that question after watching an episode of "Amnesia" with Dennis Miller.
The TV in the picture is similar to the RCA black & white that I used to watch as a kid. It was crude, had one speaker and was not very dependable, but we saw some great shows on it - like Ed Sullivan, What's My Line, McHale's Navy, almost every Yankees game of a season, Red Skelton, Dean Martin. We didn't need color. Color was what our everyday life had. TV....well, TV was naturally black & white.

Speaking Of $peaking......

In college, Public Speaking was a required freshman speech class. I hated it, but I was a shy kid from New York with nothing much to say.
Things change.
Public speaking is big business. Did you know that you or your group can hire famous people to speak at a function? Sure! I found a web site, International Speakers .com. They have all sorts of speakers available. Normally you have to pay for transportation, food and lodging. The expensive speakers don't have a fee listed. I guess if you have to ask, "How much?" It means that you can't afford them.
Here are a few examples, $30-50,000 gets you one of the following:
Tommy Lasorda, Lynda Carter, Marlo Thomas, Linda Ellerbee, Billie Jean King.
More than 50 G's? How about these:
Anderson Cooper, Dick Enberg, Bob Costas, Mario Andretti, Lee Iacocca.
On a budget? $20-30,000 gets you one of the following:
Melissa Manchester, Robert Klein, Johnny Bench, Pete Rose, Coach Marv Levy and Lester Holt.
I see that Steve Garvey and Brooks Robinson are each asking $15-20,000 while Jim Bouton will tell stories for $10-15,000.
I'm trying to see how we can justify spending a good portion of what could pay for a college tuition, just to hear a famous person speak for an hour or two.
For the record, I have spoken in front of groups.
My fee?
Dinner.

Valentine's Post Script

These are entries to a Washington Post competition asking for a two-
line rhyme with the most romantic first line, but the least romantic second line:

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you because I was pissed.

I thought that I could love no other --
that is until I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's
empty and so is your head.

I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes ...
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "Go to hell."

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

Patriots Big In Nicaragua

Actually, this happens every year. Well in advance of the game, the NFL has Super Bowl winning shirts and caps printed for both teams. What to do with the losing team's winning apparel? Donate it to the poor. This year, it's the poor in Nicaragua. The picture shows a girls' soccer team in San Gregorio village, about 40 miles (64 km) south of Managua receiving the clothing.
You can probably find this stuff on E-Bay.

Heather, How Much Is Enough?

The McCartney Divorce trial will enter its second week on Monday. Mrs. McCartney is asking for more than 100 million dollars. Paul is offering about half that. I did some math on my handy Yahoo calculator and since they were married less than 4 years (1,460 days) and she's asking $100,000,000, this comes to roughly $68,500 per day. She's being offered half of that.
How much is enough?
In preparing for this post, I googled "Heather Mills" images. Maybe she needs the money to buy some clothes?

Potty Mouth Fonda

Isn't this special! Jane Fonda is on the Today Show talking about her involvement in the "Vagina Monologues" and she utters a slangy word thant starts with the letter "c" and rhymes with what you do on fourth down & 10 to go. Yeah, she was there to promote the show and herself and, well, whatever.
I see a trend, here. A couple of weeks ago on "Good Morning America" Diane Keaton dropped the "F-bomb." HEY! Live TV is not new for these old bags! They know 2 things! #1. If they use a socially unacceptable word, they will get national attention. #2. They will not be punished - in any way!
If producers and networks are really concerned about offending thier audiences, they will award a ban on these self serving celebs. Both Fonda and Keaton are established Hollywood icons, but personally, a ban on either or both would be OK with me. And this goes for trashy Janet's wardrobe malfunction, too. NBC apologized for Fonda's poor choice of words. Aside from the butt-covering apology, it's business as usual.

Mr. Rude Cuts The Fromage

It's a british cartoon show that's been on the air for over 30 years and they have a new character named Mr. Rude. That's him on the right. He's the latest addition to the Mr. Men kiddie show that airs on Britain's Channel 5. Other characters include Mr. Messy, Mr. Strong, Mr. Tickle, Mr. Scatterbrain & Mr. Stubborn. The 5 to 7 year old target audience loves the show. We could probably compare it with our Sesame Street.
Well, getting back to our friend, Mr. Rude, he speaks with a "bad" French accent. His manner is not very polished as he often farts...you know, "Pull my finger..." The French embasy in London was contacted for their opinion, they had no comment.

Buffalo Moving To Toronto To Pay The Bills?

This is sad for the people of Buffalo. Their NFL franchise is flirting with the idea of moving to Toronto. Bills' ownership says that the Buffalo population is shrinking and that unemployment is up. It's a matter of financial survival! Yeah, it's a bitch when NFL team owners have to struggle.
The immediate solution, in my mind, would be to win some games. This would increase attendance. There's nothing worse than paying $80 or more to freeze your ass off and watch your team lose. Win and you might even be able to raise your ticket prices! Moving to Toronto would hurt the Buffalo economy worse than the owners claim that it already is....not to mention, my lady friend, above, would be looking for work! I often wonder how a multimillionaire NFL Franchise Owner can relocate his team and still sleep at night after disappointing the loyal following and years of local fan support that made him rich(er) in the first place!
I wonder how the Canadian Football League feels about this?

Erinn Bartlett

For no apparent reason, I'm adding Erinn Bartlett to the blog. Maybe, uh....just to beautify the blog...a little? I think the world could use a little more beauty, don't you? Actually, she's having a birthday this month. She'll be 35. I first discovered her on an episode of "How I Met Your Mother." She's married to Oliver Hudson, son of Goldie Hawn. She is a former Miss Tean USA from Mass.

Emergency Room

The other day, I needed to go to the emergency room.
Not wanting to sit there for 4 hours, I put on my old Army fatigues and stuck a patch that I had downloaded off the Internet onto the front of my shirt.
When I went into the E.R., I noticed that 3/4 of the people got up and left.
I guess they decided that they weren't that sick after all.
Here's the patch.
Feel free to use it the next time you're in need of quicker Emergency service.

It also works well if you ever have to use a Laundromat.

Cool Plumber

A sense of humor can sometimes be a rare commodity.
The picture, below, speaks for itself!
Click the image for a larger picture.

Muther Nature

This week's severe weather has had its effect on, among other things, this blog. Apparently, our T-one line was soaked and we were detached from the internet for two days. This defies logic, but it's useless to argue with any type of service tech. Sometimes I wonder how we ever managed to land on the moon - 39 years ago!
Anyway, we're back on-line and I am eager to do whatever it is that I do here.
Stay tuned!

Monday Joke

I's Monday. Let's start the work week with a joke:

I was feeling a bit depressed the other day, so I called Lifeline.
I was put through to a call center outsourced in Saudi Arabia.
I explained that I was feeling suicidal.
They were really very excited at this news and wanted to know if I could drive a truck or fly an airplane....

Told Ya So!

I had to say it!
It wasn't pretty, but it happened.
Offense sells tickets, defense wins games.
Yea for us. Rah Rah.

Giant Super Bowl?

I don't listen to sports radio. I don't watch the sports commentary on ESPN. It's hype where hype is not necessary. What is necessary is THE GAME! How can anybody enjoy an arguement about a sporting event that has yet to happen? I've been married for a long time. I know where to go for an arguement!
This brings us to the Super Bowl. New England is undefeated with an 18-0 record. The Giants have earned their way to the big game, not with a perfect season, but with some superb football performances when it counted most - at the end of the season and through the playoffs. Nobody and no team is "perfect." (Look up the 1963 Yankees under the heading of 'World Series')
The Giants are hot. Patriots' Tom Brady might or might not be damaged goods for tomorrow's game, it's not really that important. Team vs. team, neither team is going to have an easy time. I look for an exciting game with mediocre commercials but above it all, I pick the Giants to win.
I'll check back on Monday.

Phone Booth

It occured to me that with the popularity of the cell phone, it's been a long while since any of us has used a phone booth. If you're younger than 30 you may have never used one! Let me explain. The phone booth was a private area where you could carry on a private conversation. You usually closed the door and the overhead light came on. Every phone booth had a seat. You could actually sit and be comfortable as you insert a dime into the top of the phone and dial, yes dial the phone number. You'd then have three minutes to carry on your conversation. Most of us were capable of doing this, but, if we needed more than three minutes, we'd need another dime.
It's sad to see that the phone booth has become extinct. We have advanced to cell phones where complete strangers speak loudly within large groups of people. Conversations usually extend beyond 3 minutes because of competing phone plans, to the point where talk really is cheap. I miss the comfort and discretion of the phone booth. The simple phone booth, like full service gas stations, is just a small part of Americana that has disappeared in favor of a newer, less comfortable, self serve, faster way of life.

The General's 7 Simple Rules

I'm easy to get along with! But, there are certain things that get on my nerves. Being a busy guy, I don't have a lot of time to socialize. In an effort to save my precious time, I've come up with 7 simple rules. You'll know if they apply to you.

1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Turn your cap right, you can't possibly be as stupid as that makes you look!
3. Where I live, everyone waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.
4. I open doors for women. This applies to all women, regardless of age.
5. I watch College and High School Football - they are as important to me as the Lakers and the Knicks, and damn sure more fun to watch.
6. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers. Refer back to #1.
7. Four inches isn't a blizzard - it's a flurry. Drive like you've got some
sense, and DON'T take all our bread, milk, and bleach from the grocery stores. This ain't Alaska , worst case you may have to live a whole day without croissants.