Miss Nevada?

Katie Rees, depending on when you read this, she's Miss Nevada USA, or the former Miss Nevada USA or the reinstated Miss Nevada USA. She's your standard beauty pageant contestant. Looks great in a swimsuit. And like so many of God's little beauty contestants, she has pictures of herself (gasp)topless. There's also the picture that you see, here. I must admit, she's got taste. Girls kissing girls doesn't affect me one way or another. But I digress! Beauty pageants have rules. Without rules you have disorder and eventually chaos. Is it fair to allow Katie to break the rules and wear the crown? What about the other girls who played by the rules and lost? Fair to them? I find this fascinating! It's far more fascinating than pondering a solution to world hunger.

What Needy People Need.....

I work at a car dealershop. Each year we collect money for the boss' Christmas Gift. In recent years, we have been donating this money, in his name, to local organizations which help the needy. This year we came across a local organizition which teamed up with a very large, nationally known, discount store. They wanted us to buy items for the needy. Items like x-box stuff, i-pods and other big ticket toys. Is this what needy people need?

We opted for the food & clothing route.

When Fat People Fly!

Here's something that I learned over the Christmas weekend. Southwest Airlines charges obese people (also know as "people of size") for two tickets when they can't fit in a single seat. Depending on height, this usually happens at 320 pounds. At first, I thought that this was kind of funny, especially since I weigh 20 pounds less than the average American airline passenger. Here's Southwest's policy as it appears on their web site:
Customers who are unable to lower the armrests (the definitive boundary between seats) and/or who compromise any portion of adjacent seating should proactively book the number of seats needed during initial reservations. This purchase serves as a notification of an unusual seating need and allows us to process a refund of the additional seating cost after travel (provided the flight doesn’t oversell). Most importantly, it ensures that all onboard have access to safe and comfortable seating.
Maybe we can take this a step further by giving people with normal or less than normal weight a discount. Step on a scale and the computer tells you how much your ticket costs! We can do this in the name of airline safety! I have no mercy for people with their 5 Big Mac lunches and 64 ounce sodas. Most of us know someone like this. Hey if we can make smoking in public a crime, maybe we should make the overloading of our passenger planes with people of size (fat people) a crime too.

Tara Keeps Her Tiarra

Donald Trump calls a press conference to announce that he is not going to fire the reigning Miss USA, Tara Conner. Why call a press conference when you decide not to do something? I'll tell you why. PUBLICITY, that's why! So Tara Conner likes to party. A major NYC newspaper reported that she failled a drug test and that she was kicked out of her complimentary Trump Towers apartment. She was seen kissing Miss Teen USA, in public. She's been seen drinking, in public, before turning 21. You'd think that the Miss USA people would take her aside and tell her to straighten up or they'll send her back to Nowhere, Kentucky. I can hear Trump's people saying, "No, we can get more publicity, from this, than we could ever afford to buy! Hell, General Tom will write about us in his blog!"
Well, guys, it worked. I've never been much into the beauty pageant scene. Reports say that Tara has been competing in pageants since she was 4. I was asked to judge the local County Fair Queen Contest, twice. I did it only because I was asked. The money was a plus. Rewarding a girl because she's pretty (inheriting good looking genes) seems odd to me. The ability to skillfully apply makeup is also important and also carries a reward. The world has a way of rewarding pretty women - always has. With all this going for her, why would Tara screw up by getting drunk in public, fail drug tests and hit on another girl in public - why? I'll tell you why - white trash! Tara, you got the title, find the meaning of dignity.
Trump would fire you in a NY minute, sweetie, if it would benefit him. The greater benefit to him is to hold a press conference and to make himself look like a caring guy. PUBLICITY! He doesn't give a rat's rear end about you or about second chances. The picture is laughable! Oh - the Miss USA Pageant airs on NBC. This story was covered by all media, including non-NBC TV stations! This episode was a success!
BTW do you know where the rival Miss America Pageant airs? Care to guess? CMT, Country Music Television.

$20 Ballpark Beer - It's Coming!

Thank you, Boston Red Sox. Thank you for the $51.1 million that you bid to win the rights to sign Japan's Daisuke Matsuzaka. His American Agent says 26 year old Matsuzaka is worth $100 million for 5 or 6 seasons. The Red Sox agree. They want the $51.1 Million to be included in the $100 Million...the agent doesn't.
Who is Daisuke Matsuzaka? A Japanese right handed pitcher, 26 years old with 204 games under his belt and a record of 108 and 60. His ERA is 2.95 and he has 1,355 strikeouts in those 204 games. I don't think he's worth it. The reality is that if he passes the Red Sox physical and gets his $100 million, then he is indeed worth it. The market for MLB pitchers is always changing. If an owner is willing to pay a player $20,000,000 a year, then that becomes his value. Just remember, sports fans, the money is really coming from us.

Rosie's Rosey Future

First she slams Kelly Rippa for being a homophobe. Then she mocks the Asian American population by mimicing their language. Rosie O'Donnell, like her or not is an important part of ABC's "The View." I don't watch The View. I can't stand Barbara Walters and besides, I'm working at the time when the show airs. Rosie will continue to be controversial to some people. She will also continue to be on The View as long as she wants to. To prove the point that no matter how negative the publicity may be, it's all good publicity, The View has just enjoyed the best November ratings in the show's history. Unless she wants to, Rosie isn't going anywhere.

Pastrami & Cheesecake

Apparently pastrami and cheesecake are high in protien and low in carbs. This falls in line with the Atkins diet. A Florida man, 53 year old Jody Gorran of Delray Beach participated in the national pastime and sued the Atkins folks after his cholesterol shot up from 146 to 230. Gorran felt pain in his chest in the fall of 2003 and underwent an angioplasty to unclog one of his coronary arteries, according the suit. (You may remember the Atkins Diet - carbohydrates like pasta and bread are bad for you and protein is good for you.) The judge said that the Atlkins diet consists of only "advice and ideas" that are protected by the First Amendment.
General Tom says, if you eat too much you will gain weight. If you eat less, you will lose weight. Also it seems that the brain needs carbohydrates.

I WANT MY ABC

What John Kerry should have said is, "If you don't pay attention in school, you'll end up working for the FCC. 16 years in broadcasting and I doubted their very existance, until now.
I live in a part of the country where I cannot receive a local TV signal with ABC programming. This is not my fault. I should also mention that I have a 60 foot TV antenna at my house and I still cannot recieve a TV signal with ABC programming. I also have a Dish Network satellite dish and I pay a couple bucks a month to receive WABC out of New York. I see nothing wrong with this. Now, the local stations have succeeded in convincing the FCC that I should not be able to receive out-of-town network affiliated TV stations. Fine, but there's no ABC station around here!
Let's review some basics. The Federal Communications Act of 1934 said that the airwaves beling to the public. The broadcast stations are public trustees licensed by the FCC. If the airwaves belong to the public (you and me) why should we have to pay to receive TV reception? The answer, because we don't want to watch local infomercials, we'd rather watch movies, news, sporting events, etc. That's why we pay Dish Network and the cable systems...to give us what we can't get locally. I can't get ABC locally.
The problem is that these decisions are being made by people who live in urban areas where all of the major network tv programs are readily available on their local stations. Well, this kind of thinking doesn't play in Terre Haute, Indiana. My advice to the FCC, get a clue, and maybe a map.

Faith: Too Much Faith?

Faith Hill's reaction at the recent CMA Awards. She denies doing this. Click here to see for yourself. Do you believe her or do you believe your eyes?

Clooney's Max In Hog Heaven

They say he lived a log, full life. George Clooney's Vietnamese Pot Bellied Pig, Max has died of natural causes at the age of 19. 13 is considered old age for the species. Max had been through a lot. He was run over in a car accident and had been suffering poor eyesight and liver problems in recent years. Clooney gained custody of the 300 lb porker after his breakup with actress Kelly Preston, 13 years ago.
Clooney says that it's unlikely that he will replace Max.

Jessica, here's what really happened....

OK, before we all come down on Jessica Simpson, let me tell you that certain things are more difficult to do than they appear. I'm refering to the CBS network taping of the Kennedy Center Honors on Sunday. Unlike most of Jessica's live performances, the audience was filled with many famous politicians, including her buddy, George Bush. Big name entertainers were there too. This can add some pressure, especially when you're used to singing in front of teenyboppers! Jessica was singing a tribute to honoree Dolly Parton - "9 to 5." You may notice, when you see the video, that Jessica was wearing a strapless gown. You're more likely to see the video on the internet than on CBS on December 26. All during her aborted performance you can see her left arm pressed up against her dress. Apparently she was having a problem and didn't want to do a "Janet Jackson." Now, about the lyrics...It isn't always easy to read a telepromter. Generally, practice makes it a little easier. I speak from experience. She forgot the 6 P's. The 6 P's are Prior Preperation Prevents Piss Poor Performance. (I learned this 100 years ago in the Army at AFN, Europe.) Remember that Jessica Simpson is what she is. She's a rare case of much more success than her talent warrants. How can this happen? Packaging, that's how! Basically, if you comb your hair right, you'll make it. Other high maintenance procedures come in to play here, too. Wonderful job! Now if you could use some of that money to buy some talent.....

Fisher Outsmarts Dungy

The Indianapolis Colts were favored to beat the Tennessee Titans, yesterday. Why? In their earlier meeting, this year, the Colts eked a one point victory in the warmth of the RCA dome among the hometown crazies. Put the same two teams outside in 45 degree weather, in Nashville, put Vince Young at QB with his wandering ways and you've got a game! Forget the QBs for a minute. The game is tied with seconds to go and Coach Fisher wants to attempt a 60 yard field goal. But the Colts have one timeout remaining. If the Titans miss the field goal, Manning takes over at mid field, throws a sideline pass to (insert a name here), CALLS TIMEOUT, the Colts kick a field goal and win! Jeff Fisher put his field goal unit on the field, then put his punting team on the field, then put his field goal team back on the field. Dungy was so confused, all he could do was call a timeout (his last in regulation) so that he would not be penalized for too many men on the field. A peanalty would have made a field goal attempt "easier." Brilliant! In Nashville they are calling this the "Music City Miracle."
If a team is hungrier and smarter...miracles will happen.

Pamela + Kid = Splitting

You'd call me stupid if I made this up! Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock are getting a divorce after less than 4 months of marriage. I swear, the next time she gets married, I'm going to start an office pool - the winner guesses the correct amount of weeks that the happy couple stays together.
Seriously, there had been reports that Pamela suffered a miscarriage during her brief marriage with Kid. Also, she and her mother-in-law can't seem to get along. Something about Kid's mom and her fondness of fur coats. Pam is among the PETA crowd and does not approve. Her on-line poker venture recently failed and her dog is missing! Talk about pressure on a marriage!
Kid & Pam were married onboard a yacht near St. Tropex, France in late July, then in a courthouse ceremony in Beverly Hills on August 3rd, and in still another ceremony on August 17th in Nashville....that makes three, I've heard that there was a 4th, but it really doesn't matter, now.
No word, yet, on how many divorce court appearances are planned.

John Fogerty

John Fogerty is a legend of rock and roll. His music was important during the late 60's and early 70's. Very hip and very well connected to the social and political crap of that era. This brings me to Thanksgiving's performances in Detroit and Kansas City. First, why have the same act perform at two games in the same day? To prove that it can be done? Dumb! As much as I love Fogerty's music and the CCR songs, a litle variety would have been better. Maybe the N-F-L got a double concert discount?
The thing that bothered me most wasn't that fact that he was tring to look 40 years younger than he is, that's show biz. It was something that I see so much of on TV and it insults me. As Fogerty sang in Detroit and in Kansas City, the stage was surrounded by a tightly assembled groub of kids who were screaming and dancing with their hands in the air. Yeah, right! The cameras should have panned the stands or at least focus on a paying fan who was digging the show! No, instead, they concentrated on the trite group of professional groupies who would probably have preferred listening to any parolled hip hop artist than to the rock & roll hall of famer, Fogerty.
Bottom line, it was great to see Fogerty - great show - despite the promoter's or the nfl's attempt to "dress it up." If you have to work "so much" to dress up the act, maybe you have the wrong act.

IRS Snipe(s) Hunting

This story has been around for a while. Wesley Snipes has been indicted on income tax charges. The figure is around $12 million. If found guilty on all counts, he could serve 16 years. Doing some math, he's 44 now, 60 when he gets out....52 with good behavior. He's in Namibia, now, shooting a movie. The most interesting thing about this story is the fact that he was indicted while he was abroad, in a country with no extradition treaty with the USA. Brilliant! Although I strongly feel that everyone should pay their fair share of taxes - especially the rich, I'd like to see Snipes beat this.......if for no other reason than the fact that the Feds handed down the indictment while he was in Namibia. I don't care for bureaucrats much less stupid bureaucrats.
By the way, his accountants have already been arrested!

NO NO COSMO!

Comedians should be funny! There are many types of humor, parody, satire, slapstick, etc. In any of these categories, there is a big difference between being funny and being stupid. Comedian Michael Richards has been around and he should know his craft by now. Doing standup is an invitation for hecklers to do their thing. Every standup has or should have a multitude of "come backs" to any heckler. Sometimes these "comebacks" can be creative and even funnier than the basic act. The point is to make the heckler look like a jerk, a drunk, a low life, etc. Apparently Michael Richards got his wires crossed and made himself look like a jerk, a drunk and/or a low life. He crossed "the line" that no comedian should ever cross. Once he crossed the line, he stopped being funny. The heckle wasn't that bad. I've heard a lot worse. Hearing a recording of his recent act was painful. Then, I went to TMZ.com and saw a video of his act. He was obviously drunk. He said things that should put him on the unemployment line forever! Michael Richards has just become the answer to a trivia question. That's all, you're done, cooked, goodbye!

Pamela's Dog Gone!

Pamela Anderson's Chihuahua, Luca is missing. It's not unusual for an pet owner to have a dog run away, is it? Of course, if you are a celebrity, it's much more important! So Miss Pammie has notified the media saying that she thinks the dog may have been stolen. As a public service, I found a picture of Pam and her dog. You must realize that it took hours to find this picture, but as a public service to Miss Pammy, I'm willing to sift through thousands of her pictures. A phone number might be helpful. But then, she would probably get calls that have nothing to do with her dog. Here's an idea, if you want to meet Pamela Anderson, all you have to do is go to the local humane society, adopt a Chihuahua, call the Malibu Police (I didn't know they had police in Malibu until Mel Gibson....) and insist on returning the dog personally! This plan can't miss. Let me know how it worked out for you!

O.J., Fox Define Tacky

There's nothing wrong with making money. You can put me on record for being in favor of making money. HOWEVER, I can only guess the mental state of O.J. Simpson with his book deal and upcoming TV special on FOX. Tacky is the word that comes to mind. Apparently Simpson has nothing to lose and everything to gain by talking about this double tragedy from the somewhat sensational standpoint that "If I did it, here's how..." What about FOX? Are they so hard up for cash that they are willing to be associated with this tacky attempt to win ratings and blood money? Sure, we will talk about it as we usually talk about bizzare things. I'm wondering which corporation will sponsor this trash-cast. A number of stations have already refused to broadcast the program. This is their right! Fox does not own these stations, they simply have a business agreement with them. The TV interview program will receive much hype and media coverage. That's OK, I guess. There's a place for coverage of tacky new developments. Come to think of it, I usually enjoy the sideshow a little more than the circus, itself.

UPDATE: The Fox TV Network has decided to cancel the O.J. Interview show. It was to have aired on two of the final three days of the November sweeps.

TomKat Kountdown

This Saturday's their day. It should be a very elaborate one...she deserves it, I think. I know it's not romantic but I'm thinking about the prenup. I bet the printed version is taller than Tommy!
On another note, I hear that the happy couple is giving little keepsakes to all of their wedding guests. Personalized towls. What do they look like? Beats me! You'll probably see them (or knockoffs) on E-Bay soon.

The Vote: Who Won?

So, the election is over. Who won? I'll tell you who won - local media won! Good God! Christmas came early for local TV, radio and newspapers. It was a mid-term election with local races being run by local candidates who advertised in local media. I watched the local and national election coverage with great interest. What I would like to know is how much does a vote cost? This is hard to determine since nobody seems to know how much is actually spent on various campaigns. In the Indiana 8th Congressional race, loser John Hostettler spent at least $25.00 per vote, probably closer to $50 per. That figure is probably higher for Brad Ellsworth, the winner. I can tell you where the money comes from. It comes, indirectly, from YOU (and from me). It would have been refreshing to hear a political ad that would go something like this, "Hi, I'm Joe Blow. I'm running for office. People say they're tired of hearing nasty political ads. I agree. Vote for me, and if elected, I'll do everything I can to limit the name calling and half truths that are heard daily in commercials which you have, by now, learned to recite verbatum. This message was authorized by me and paid for by people who want to see me in power - who got their money from you." What do you think? Not bad, eh? Less than 30 seconds.

Hey, I gotta go. I almost forgot. I have to fill up my car's gas tank before the prices go up.

Vanity Fair or Unfair?

I'm posting this for my female readers, Leesy. Vanity Fair is using Brad Pitt's picture on its December cover. Brad sez they didn't get his permission. This may be true, but he was compensated for the photography session, last year. He also signed a release. Too bad, he probably needs the money.

Trump: GUILTY!

This is part of why I like Donald Trump:

PALM BEACH, Fla. - Donald Trump's display of patriotism is apparently too flamboyant for this chic oceanside town. Palm Beach officials cited Trump for hoisting a large American flag atop an 80-foot pole at his lavish Mar-a-Lago estate and club.

Town officials said the real estate mogul has violated zoning codes with a flagpole taller than 42 feet and for erecting it without a building permit and permission from the landmarks board. Trump has until Nov. 27 to apply for approvals or face a Dec. 21 code enforcement hearing that could result in $250-a-day fines.

"You don't need a permit to put up the American flag," Trump said Tuesday. "The day you need a permit to put up the American flag, that will be a sad day for this country."

Lee Hanley, vice chairman of the town's landmarks commission, previously said the 15-by-25-foot flag makes the town look like "we have an Okeechobee car dealer," referring to a strip of auto dealerships along Okeechobee Boulevard in West Palm Beach.

Trump responded in a letter last week saying that "anyone who objects should not, in my opinion, hold a public office of any kind — at least not in this country."

The flag appeared outside the estate Oct. 3.
-0-
I'm glad to see that Palm Beach is tackling this serious problem.

World Series - Hard To Watch

Here's a final word on the World Series and it has nothing to do with the Managers' decisions nor the Umpires' ability to do their jobs correctly. It has to do with TV ratings! The worst, ever, at 10.1 or a share of 17.
Why weren't people watching?
The games were on too late for kids living with responsible families, but that's an annual dilema. Maybe it was the weather! Who wants to watch a rain delay? The World Series should be played in early October DURING THE DAY. Temperatures are warmer during the day than they are at night. (Did you know that?) More people will watch baseball on tv if the games are played when they are awake. Money? If more people watch the games, the ratings will increase and the network will charge more per commercial. Oh, and speaking of commercials, :60 between innings is enough. Anything more is simply GREED. How do you play the World Series in early October? Doubleheaders during the regular season! That's how. Maybe you can shorten the season by a few games. It should be plain to see that MLB's Golden Goose (post season baseball) is ailing. The way things are going, how long before we see the World Series on Pay-Per-View in late November!

Making News

W
e have the election coming soon. We have the war in Iraq. We have many issues that are important. It is a difficult job to accurately report what is actually going on. This is evident when you see new stories reported with a slant as if to show proof that a certain viewpoint is developing. For example, the majority of Americans think that we are losing ground in Iraq. Does that mean that the media should only show us the negative from Iraq. Often we are shown what is "available" to be shown. Talk to a GI who has been there. I have. Ask him if the media is doing a good job. The answer is always NO! If it's true with war coverage, could it be true with EVERYTHING?

Gina Lollobrigida (finally) Gets Her Man

This is an odd one.
Gina Lollobrigida, an Italian actress/bombshell is getting married at age 79. That's not the odd part. She's marrying a guy who's 34 years younger than she is. This puts him at 45. But that's still not the odd part! They have been dating for 22 years! GOOD GOD - 22 years! I wonder who popped the question and how much vino was consumed? Doing the math, these crazy kids met when Miss Gina was 57 and her fiance was 23. For the record, his name is Javier Rigan Y Rafols.
They plan to wed in NYC before the end of the year.

NLCS

My Yankees are out of the running but I still find the post season interesting. The Detroit Tigers are set to represent the American League in the World Series and the Cardinals and Mets are tied (at this point) at two games each. I have lived on the fringe of "Cardinal Country" for a number of years and I've noticed something interesting. The average mentality of a Cardinal fan is about 8 years old. Is this a nasty thing to say? Maybe, but maybe not if it is true. Why don't I hate the Cubs? St. Louis has a much more successful organization. Why are their fans so weak? I may have the answer. Part of it is Mike Shannon. Yes Mikey Shannon who hit .255 for 9 years as a Cardinal. I was listening to him, Friday night, doing the game from St. Louis. Good God! It sounded like he was talking to a kindergarten class! It may have been a bad night for him, but it was at the beginning of the game and his lack of descriptive skills, on a radio broadcast, was pitiful. The fact that he was rooting for the Cardinals, harder than most of the Cardinals' fans, became tiresome.
Oh, and Mike, Polygrip...it's great stuff!

Then FOX has Jack Buck's kid, Joey, announcing the game on the FOX Television Network with Tim McCarver. First there's Buck, who owes his professional existance to daddy and the St. Louis Cardinals, and McCarver a former Cardinals catcher. McCarver was a standout during much of his pro career. He broadcast for the METS for many years. His leaving NY may have been bitter when you hear him offer his analysis. Last night, the Mets solidly defeated the Cardinals (in their house) and Buck & McCarver had nothing more to offer than "wall to wall" negative stats for the Mets. Maybe they could've given us some important information...like why does manager Tony LaRussa wear dark glasses at night?
Here's the headline for you, Joey and Timmy, THE SERIES IS TIED AT TWO GAMES APIECE.

Like much of the world, I'll be watching the remainder of the NLCS and the World Series with the sound turned down! Your advertisers may be interested.

Joe Torre Should Stay

I think it was Yankee Manager Gene Michael who said that the only certainty about managing in the big leagues was that someday you would be fired. Yes, I agree. Joe Torre has managed for George Steinbrenner for 11 uninterrupted years. Casey Stengel held the position for 12, not under George. Lets look at Torre's 11 year record with the Yankees. 11 years and 11 post season appearances. How many managers can put that on their resumes? Not enough World Championships? If you replace Torre,would you be able to find someone better? I don't think so. Would you be able to find someone "just as good?" Maybe, but what's the point? So what do the Yankees need? A new manager? NO! Better and younger pitchers? Why aren't the sportswriters asking about the possibility of a new General Manager?
Why? because as I learned in the Army, sh*t rolls downhill. It does in baseball, too - until it reaches the manager.

Got Culture?

In an effort to keep all of us as civilized as possible, I thought I'd include this item from Debrett's Peerage & Baronetage. It's a British guide to etiquette. It contains many guidelines on how to act around royalty. Included in the latest edition is the proper way for a lady have a one night, er, romantic interlude and the proper method of smoking in public. I quote:

Avoid dark-alley gropery and unladylike fumbling in the back of a cab," the guide says on the subject of one night stands. "Discuss the necessaries to avoid planting any love children or disease, and you're away."

On smoking it decrees: "Always use a proper ashtray -- never a wine bottle, flower pot or used plate -- and avoid allowing smoke to billow out of the nostrils. It is also inelegant to leave the cigarette unsupported in the mouth..."

I hope this makes you a better person. After all, I do what I can.

Anna Nicole: Commited (Kinda)

I wasn't going to include this, until I heard that LARRY KING had Anna Nicole's lawyer, Howard K. Stern on his show, last Tuesday. Larry King has more class (or is it more $)than I do, except, I've never been arrested nor convicted.
Anyway, last Tuesday on Larry King Live, Anna Nicole's lawyer, Howard K. Stern admits to being the father of her brand new baby daughter. All this time we were being told that Larry Birkhead, a photojournalist, was the daddy. He recently claimed this on TV's Insider.
Anna Nicole's mother, Virgie Arthur went on Entertainment Tonight saying that she doubted that Howie is the daddy. Ain't this classy? Then, on Thursday of last week, Howie and Anna pledged their love for one another during a secret "Commitment Ceremony" in the Bahamas. The ceremony was held on board a boat. (Pammie, you may have started something, here.) Here's where I ask a question: What the hell is a "Commitment Ceremony?" Is it a wedding for whimps? Actually, I'm told that the ceremony was religious but not binding. This all sounds banannas and is about what you would expect from Anna Nicole until you look at the tragic death of her son. Dr. Cyril Wecht, a private pathologist hired by the Smith family, has ruled out any natural cause of death. He told People Mazazine that Daniel died from cardiac dysrhythmia, caused by a lethal combination of the antidepressants Zoloft and Lexapro, and the painkiller methadone - often used to treat heroin addictions.

Parenting, it's so important.

Avril's Spittin' Mad!

Avril Lavigne has issues with the paparazzi. Wednesday while out in Hollywood celebrating her 22nd birthday she spit at a photographer. And again the evening before that, when she supposedly hocked one at TMZ.com's cameraman outside of hotspot Hyde Lounge. Her response: "I'd like to sincerely apologize for my behavior with the paparazzi," Lavigne said Friday in a statement. "It's trying at best dealing with their insistent intrusions. I meant no offense to my fans, whose relationship I truly value. I have and will always go out of my way for my fans. My behavior was a reaction to the persistent attack from the paparazzi."
The General's advice: Keep it up, young Avril. You're 22 with 2 albums out. You have a future. Spitting at the media could cause them to publish unflattering pics and say nasty things. Your record company may frown on your behavior, too. You need them more than they need you.

Minimum Wage

Raising the minimum wage is a hot issue now. Many issues have become hot simply because an election is coming up.
I used to work for minimum wage. I was a kid at the time and I worked an entry level, non skilled job. I had no family and the job contributed very little to the business' net profit. Folks, that's what a minimum wage job is! If we raise the minimum wage, there will be fewer minimum wage jobs. This means more unemployment among kids and the semi-retired. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to see everyone make $50,000+ per year. I don't want to see the $25.00 Big Mac.

Florida Flock Fleeced

I'm a Catholic. Always have been. Yes, I know that priests are human, but this really bothers me. It bothers me because the Catholic Church took so long in discovering this story...

MIAMI (Reuters) - Two Roman Catholic priests allegedly misappropriated more than $8 million from their church and spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on real estate, travel, rare coins and girlfriends, police in Florida said on Friday.


Former St. Vincent Ferrer Church pastor John Skehan, 79, (left) was arrested on a charge of grand theft over $100,000 and was being held in the Palm Beach County jail on a $400,000 bond.

A warrant was issued for the arrest of Father Francis Guinan, 63, (right) on the same charge. He was on a cruise in Australia but had contacted the police, the Palm Beach Post reported.

"We believe that our investigation has shown that the two allegedly have misappropriated more than $8 million and have used it for personal use or for other purchases," said Paige Patterson-Hughes, a spokeswoman for the Florida Department of Law Enforcement.

According to a police affidavit, Skehan invested heavily in rare coins, once buying $275,000 worth in a single day. He owned a cottage and a pub in Ireland, a penthouse condo worth $455,000 in Singer Island, Florida, and another condo in Delray Beach, the document said.

The thefts took took place over a period of years when Skehan served as St. Vincent parish priest and continued when Guinan took over as pastor three years ago, police said.

Some of the misappropriated funds may have benefited the church, Delray Beach police spokesman Jeff Messer said.

"They were skimming cash out of the offering plates and other donations that came into the church," he said. "They were spending some on church projects and they were spending a lot on themselves, for vacations, buying properties, gambling trips to Las Vegas and the Bahamas, and alleged girlfriends."

"We can prove several hundred thousand has been spent on personal use by each of them. They may have done some good for the church," Messer said, adding that a church audit covered more than four decades that Skehan served at the church.

A lawyer for Skehan was not immediately available for comment.

LAVISH LIFESTYLE

The Diocese of Palm Beach said it started investigating allegations of missing funds around April of 2005, about a month before police launched their own probe following an anonymous tip.

-A forensic accounting firm hired by the Diocese found that $8,690,593 was misappropriated during the tenures of Skehan and Guinan, the police affidavit said.

-A female bookkeeper at a Palm Beach County church with whom Guinan allegedly had an "intimate" relationship received $47,000 from the slush funds in 2004.

-Guinan characterized as a "gambler and heavy drinker."

-Guinan often took lavish vacations to Las Vegas and the Bahamas

-Skehan paid a girlfriend under the table and paid off a car loan for her with money from the church.

-0-

I'd like to thank these jerks for ripping us off and for making us look stupid. Would they agree that God has a special place for them in the next life?

Ronn Mott

Driving to work this morning I was listening to friend and former co-worker Ronn Mott on WAXI, Gold 104.9. He played Barbara Lewis' "You Lose A Good Thing." Suddenly I wasn't dodging potholes on I-70, but remembering a simpler time (for me), many years ago, far away - where summer nights were occupied with watching "Submarine Races" at Stehli Beach on the Long Island Sound. Amazing that we didn't need the internet or cell phones or video games or i-pods. A cold can of Schaefer & holding hands with "what's-her-name" and it couldn't possibly get any better. All that from a dumb old record. Thanks Ronn.

Dr. Phil's Phoney Diet Pills

I never cared much for Dr. Phil McGraw. Here's a shrink on TV with what claim to fame? Yes, he was taken under Oprah's wing, but what else? I always thought he was a phoney. Of course, I've been wrong before. After all, I don't have a successful syndicated talk show, but, then again, Oprah, doesn't know me.
Back to the Diet Plan endorsed by Dr. Phil. The company he endorsed recently lost a $10,500,000 class action law suit. The action was initally taken by some unhappy dieters. Dr. Phill doesn't lose a penny. Dieters paid $120 a month and took 22 pills a day to lose weight. This doesn't make much sense to me, but I've never been fat. Back to Dr. Phil. When I see a picture of him, I think of a snake oil salesman. Apparently a judge agrees.

Willie Busted With Wacky Tabacky

Yes friends, the more things change, the more things stay the same. News from Louisiana is that 73 year old Willie Nelson and some of his band members were busted, today, for possession of marijuana. This happened during a rountine commercial traffic stop. Authorities say they smelled that smell. Those involved cooperated fully with authorities. They could face 6 months in jail but will probably be fined and put on probation. This will make it to the network news, probably as a balance to all the seriously bad and depressing news. Willie, I raise my can of Old Milwaukee to ya!

Making War Over Words

I can't think of anything that anyone could say that would make me want to riot or to wage war. Not over words! Could this be the case of us hearing what we want to hear? I try not to be too political in this blog, but...
If you want to prove that what you thought the Pope was saying is wrong, prove it with your actions.

Thong Makes Wright Wrong?

Gallatin is a suburb of Nashville, Tennessee. A movie production company contacts Mayor Don Wright to see if they can use his office to shoot 3 scenes for an upcoming movie. Now, life in small town America is a little different that it is in the big city. Mayor Don says, "OK," thinking that the publicity would be good for Gallatin.
The movie is: "Thong Girl 3, Revenge of the Dark Widow." I should mention that there is no nudity and that Thong Girl is an adaptation from the "Thong Girl" comic book series, aptly portrayed by Leah Adcock in her little red "Thong Girl" outfit, complete with red cape. I tried to get a better picture but the Thong Girl website has exceeded its bandwith! This is a problem that this blog will never face!

The Skinny On Models

It's always been a mystery to me why the fashion industry insists on using skinny models. When I say skinny, I mean beyond slender. Like the girl in the picture. The thought of eating at Mc Donalds scares the hell out of her! Maybe the skin and bones look appeals to gay fashion designers?
So you may be wondering if you are skinny or fat. To know whether you are fat or skinny, you must know your BMI. BMI is "Body Mass Index" Your's should be between 21 and 26. Spain recently banned models with a BMI below 18. Here's how you get your number: Weigh yourself in pounds. Divide your weight by your height in inches squared. Take that number and multiply by 703. If the answer is below 21, eat something. If your BMI is above 26, relax! You have lots of company.

Debbie Does.........

I saw some of the Dateline interview, last night, with Debra Lafave. She's the 25 year old former Florida middle school teacher who got caught having sex with a 14 year old student in her classroom among other places. Two points here, she's, er, attractive. OK, she's hot & NO PRISON TIME! She had sex with a boy! According to her, he wanted it. It sounds like she wanted it too. Maybe we should look at the formula, here. She says that she was depressed, took medication and drank....a lot. Mix that together with a hot woman who apparently didn't want to grow up and you get some unfortunate decisions. This may be a brief, over analysis of an oversexed bimbo, but if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck...
My advice to Debra..."older guys" (like 22 yrs old...), they have more cash, same equipment.

Did Peyton Beat Eli?

Well, yes, the Colts beat the Giants, Sunday night, 26-21. Did Peyton beat his little brother Eli? Eli threw for 2 TDs, Peyton for one. The Giants had easy opportunities to intercept 4 passes. They nabbed one.
In the game I was watching, the Giants offense made stupid mistakes and the Giant field goal kicker missed a routine attempt. True, Eli fumbled a hand off to Barber. (High School football is fun to watch.) In last night's game, the Giants were beaten by the Giants.
The next time you see an NFL game, think of the theory that "Defense wins games. Offense sells tickets. The game's hype surrounded Manning vs. Manning. The outcome went in favor of the team that made the fewer mistakes.
If the Colts want to make it to the superbowl, they can't expect the opposition to make giant mistakes.

Half-A-Buck

I have driven in Manhattan. where unsafe lane changes are common. This is one reason why I never liked driving in Manhattan. But, if I were to make an unsafe lane change, in Manhattan, I don't think I'd be doing it in a silver Lamborghini. If I felt the need to draw attention to myself I'd buy a Lamborghini....oh and if I could afford one ...yeah. Rapper 50 cents AKA Curtis Jackson was cited, today, for making an unsafe lane change, driving with an expired permit, driving without insurance and driving without a vehicle registration. Why do I mention this? If you read this blog with any regularity you'll know that I have a theory that when young people (and us old farts too, sometimes) come into large sums of money, quickly, they get dumb, really dumb. (By the way, if you don't read this blog with any regularity, I suggest adding bran to your diet.) Backing up my point is Party Girl Paris Hilton. And don't get me started with Mel Gibson, Britney Spears, Tommy Cruise, Pammy Anderson, etc., etc. Money doesn't buy brains, or class or common sense. It's sad to see that people who are dumber than you and I, also have a ton more money than we do.

Got Gas?

The price of gas today, 9/8/06, is cheaper than it was on this day, one year ago. You can see all you want to know (and more) at www.gasbuddy.com.

Why are gas prices lower??

There may be many reasons for the recent drop in gas prices. During the past 3 years there seems to be a trend toward lower gasoline retail prices in North America during the final quarter of the year. This coincides with what? Christmas? Thanksgiving? Halloween? Election Day! This, of course is just my opinion, but all levels of government seem to work (or should I say function)best immediately prior to a general or primary election. This is why, with very few exceptions, I don't like to see anybody re-elected. I don't think that our founding fathers wanted politics to be a career. But then again, Thomas Jefferson never bought a gallon of gas in his life!

Iraq: The Current Gold Rush

On this morning's TV news was a woman complaining about the war in Iraq. She has a brother in Iraq who is a teacher.
Let's take a look at this.
He's a teacher who was motivated to go to Iraq to teach, why? Because he wanted to make $200,000 + a year instead of $40,000 in Indiana? I met a guy who's a janitor, he has a contract to go to Iraq where he'll make $120,000 + over the next 12 months. Should we be there at all? I don't know. I must confess that I know less than our President and our military about the situation. Here's something that I do know, it is plain stupid for anyone to complain about the danger of any situation when they volunteered freely to be in and are compensated far beyond their normal market value for making that choice. When you do something for the wrong reason, there is always the risk of a penalty. Comments? Fire away!

Couric Diet Plan

In the song, "I Heard It Through The Grapevine," there's a line, "believe half of what you see, oh, and none of what your hear...." Well here it is! An article in CBS' new Watch! magazine features a story on the new CBS Evening News anchor, Katie Couric. As you can see the magazine photo on the right has been edited from its original on the left. A CBS spokesman says only that "the editorial staff of Watch magazine retouched the photo without the knowledge of Katie Couric or CBS news management" and would not elaborate further.
Does your favorite news anchor need to be edited to look good?
Mine doesn't!

Karr Recall

We know that there are crazy people out there, but.....
John Mark Karr now has his 12 days of celebrity behind him. He becomes a bizzare footnote. What a waste! I know that there's a difference between "crazy" and "stupid." When you combine the two and add a noted (unsolved) crime, the mainstream media gets involved, and you get a media created celebrity - Karr. I'm not a shrink, but I think he admitted and lied simply to be famous. It worked! Yes, it worked but now he has to pay the price. Karr returns to California to face justice on some child porn charges.
He is one sick puppy.

A Bruise For Cruise?

Paramount says goodbye to Tom Cruise because of his antics and his sliding popularity? Baloney. That's right baloney, no cheese, no mayo. The studio pays him 25% of the gross for Mission Impossible 3 and then they complain! Paramount is not complaining that Cruise walks off with a quarter of the proceeds. Their problem is money. There wasn't enough. It's business. Sequels usually don't gross as much as originals. Paramount thought that MI 3 should have brought in more money, that's why the gave Cruise such a great deal. It didn't work out. Solution? Make movies with lesser known actors and do the necessary things to increase the net profit. There are plenty of good looking boys, waiting tables or washing cars in Hollywood, who would jump at having the lead part in a big-time Paramount picture. Dustin Hoffman was paid $17,000 for his role in "The Graduate."
Tommy boy's future? He has nothing to worry about unless he's dumb enough to blow his MI 3, 75 million dollar paycheck + his other net worth in his lifetime.
Maybe he can team up with Mel Gibson for an independent project - just an idea.

Police Crackdown On Striptease Funerals

First, I'm damn sorry that I don't have a picture to go with this story. Second, I hope that Ed Pearce, friend and famed funeral director - "the last man to let you down" - gets to see this story.
It happened in China's Donghai County, Jiangsu province. The fuss is over a couple of strippers who got a little "carried away" to the point where authorities had to carry them away. The strippers apparently crossed that "fine line."
Local villagers believe that the more people who attend a funeral, the more the deceased is honored. Do you see the higher purpose, here? The strippers were hired to draw a crowd. Until now, this was a common practice in Donghai County.
A local ordinance now requires written funeral plans within 12 hours of the service. A funeral misdeed hotline has also been established.

NYC's Oldest Bartender

I like stories like this one. It's a shame that we don't see more of this sort of thing...
NEW YORK (Reuters) - A man who mixed martinis for Marilyn Monroe and poured Scotch for John Lennon was feted as New York's oldest bartender when he turned 90 this week, and he vowed to keep working.
Hoy Wong, who was born in Hong Kong and served in the U.S. military in World War II, is known simply as Mr. Hoy at the historic Algonquin Hotel where he has served Manhattans and martinis for the past 27 years in the dimly lit Blue Bar.
The Algonquin, which touts Hoy as the city's oldest bartender, threw a birthday party for him on Tuesday night, inviting customers past and present as well as staff, friends and family. Asked about retirement, Hoy said: "I never think about that. ... Now I'm 90 but I don't feel I'm that old."
Hoy started tending bar in 1948 and worked at various hotels and restaurants, including Freeman Chum in New York where he served Monroe drinks, before moving to the Algonquin where former Beatle Lennon used to order Scotch.

Hoy was coy about his celebrity customers, but his granddaughter Jennifer Zhang-Mckenna said he would occasionally come home with anecdotes from work.
"He would tell me that the Duke of Windsor told him he made the best martini in the world," Zhang-Mckenna told Reuters.
-0-
I included this story not because I think that bartenders are fascinating people, but because it is truly special if you are considered to be the BEST at whatever you do. Or if you can do the same job for 58 years without going nuts, well, that's something too.

Field Trip?

I came across this picture and thought it was amusing. Why not? Sex education in the U.S. has been such a dismal failure, maybe a field trip like this would be an improvement.

Wal-Mart

Another Super Wal-Mart opened today, in town. It doesn't matter what town, today it was Terre Haute. The media celebrates. Shoppers receive a chance to win free goodies. Local charities receive Wal-Mart donations. What does this really mean? What are we really witnessing?
You can shop at one Wal-Mart Super Center and eliminate 5 or 10 different stops at other locally owned and operated stores. These locally owned and operated shops are owned by your neighbors. They and their businesses pay taxes (as does Wal-Mart). These local shops probably did not get a property tax break like so many Wal-Marts do. Yes, the new Walmart Super Center employs about 300 locals. Over the next 5 years, how many local retail jobs will it eliminate. How many shop owners will go under?
Here's my point: you are a consumer. The money that you spend can go to a local retailer and remain within your community. Or, it can go to Arkansas so that the Wal-Mart Corporation can keep growing and local business can keep on shriveling. Do you want to live in a community of minimum wage earners working 28 hours a week with no benefits? Oh, and media, would you rather have Wal-mart as a client/advertisers, or the dozens of local retailers that they are driving out? As I watched the local coverage of the opening of the new Super Wal-Mart on our local morning TV news, I noticed that the advertisers on the TV station were primarily local retailers from the local and surrounding area. Did anyone else see this?
Why do we shop at Wal-Mart? Is it all for the convenience? Are we lazy or stupid, or both? I don't feel like thinking about it, besides, the guys just came back with my Big Mac & fries...

A Parody Of Themselves

I like to read the entertainment news. I've also mentioned that Pamela Anderson fascinates me on several levels. Not today. A story comes out that Kid Rock says that he married Anderson because of the sex. He went on to talk about her scratching his back......Then she says that he's great in the sack. Something about the size of his...

Who are these people talking to? Did they invent or develop a sexual breakthrough? Good God! They tried it.....they liked it!

Boys and girls (Kid & Pammie) act your ages. And now, Pammie hints to Ryan Seacrest that she might be having a baby? Knowing how women get pregnant, can any of us be awed by this possibility? Can Saturday Night Live possibly make fun of these people? I think it's already been done...by themselves.